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Traduction - Polonais-Anglais - Klucz

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Catégorie Poésie - Amour / Amitié

Titre
Klucz
Texte
Proposé par Aneta B.
Langue de départ: Polonais

Nazywasz mnie swojÄ… boginiÄ… ...
Mówisz o uwielbieniu ...
Przestajesz dotykać ...
Powściągasz wzrok ...

Niczym pasjonata
zaczytujesz siÄ™ w mojej duszy
Z niedowierzaniem
chłoniesz mój inny świat

I trochę przestajesz istnieć ...
Nieobecny ...

Czyżbyś szukał klucza do mego serca ?
Miły mój - proszę Cię - W A L C Z !
Commentaires pour la traduction
I ask about a careful translation in British English.

Titre
The Key
Traduction
Anglais

Traduit par iluvmilka
Langue d'arrivée: Anglais

You call me your goddess
Speak of adoration
Stop touching
And curb your gaze...

Almost like a passionate
You read my soul
and absorb my other world
astonished...

And you become a bit missing
somehow absent...

Do you seek the key to my heart?
My darling, I beg you, FIGHT!
Commentaires pour la traduction
Voila :)
Dernière édition ou validation par lilian canale - 11 Septembre 2009 13:33





Derniers messages

Auteur
Message

10 Septembre 2009 15:07

Aneta B.
Nombre de messages: 4487
Thank you!!!
Yes, distant looks to be perfect here!
I understand about "take in"... Thank you for explanations. My English isn't so good as yours, so I didn't know the phrasal...

10 Septembre 2009 15:21

iluvmilka
Nombre de messages: 77
Your English is fine dont worry. I'll tell you a secret: sometimes i use a dictionary :-)

10 Septembre 2009 15:23

Aneta B.
Nombre de messages: 4487
Hehe! Me too

10 Septembre 2009 17:04

lilian canale
Nombre de messages: 14972
Hi girls

I didn't get this line:
"You read till the small hours in my soul"

Also "And you stop to exist (a little bit)" what do the brackets mean? Are they in the original?

10 Septembre 2009 17:13

Aneta B.
Nombre de messages: 4487
Well, I don't understand this first line too. You know my version... You're reading my soul with passion... but I thought Ania said the same only in a different way...


A propos the second question of yours I would pull it out of the brackets... it is in the source... (trochÄ™ = a little bit)
But wouldn't more correct: You stop existing a little bit?


10 Septembre 2009 17:21

Aneta B.
Nombre de messages: 4487
Well, literaly it means that the man becomes less and less existing...

10 Septembre 2009 17:49

lilian canale
Nombre de messages: 14972
OK, here's a version I got by combining both versions, yours and iluvmilka's, and adding some suggestions of my own.

You call me your goddess
Speak of praise
Stop touching
And curb your gaze...

Almost like a passionate
You read my soul
and absorb my other world
suspiciously...

And you become a bit missing
somehow absent...

Do you seek the key to my heart?
My darling, I beg you, FIGHT!


What do you think? Is there anything I misunderstood?



10 Septembre 2009 17:38

Aneta B.
Nombre de messages: 4487
"praise" - I associate the word rather with religious texts (Bible or Gospel songs), but I say here about an admiration of a man for a woman...
and
What does "sough" mean? I don't know the word, sorry, dear Lilly. I haven't even found it in my poor dictionary...

I like "suspiciously" very much!
The rest - perfect for me...

10 Septembre 2009 17:48

lilian canale
Nombre de messages: 14972
'praise' is not used just to 'praise God', it means "express approval or commendation" "make positive comments about something". It's perfectly suitable here.

Oops! you would never find "sough" for I mistyped it
I should have written "seek". I edited the line and forgot to change the verb.
Before I had written: "If the key to my heart is sought..."

10 Septembre 2009 18:35

iluvmilka
Nombre de messages: 77
"to do something till the small hours' is an idiom meaning that you're giving your whole heart to somthing and you are absolutely dedicated to it

10 Septembre 2009 20:02

Aneta B.
Nombre de messages: 4487
Lilly, about "praise", "express approval or commendation" "make positive comments about something" isn't precisely what I meant here I meant that the man adore the woman.. In other words "He is saying that he adore her..." I can see the line has been already changed... but by who, by Ania or by you?
BTW. "seek" is very good...

Ok, Ania. I got it. Anyway, don't take any offence but I prefer here Lilly's proposition and absorb my other world, because it is closer to the original...

Thanks anyway both of you for your excellent work on the translation. I really appreciate it.

10 Septembre 2009 20:06

lilian canale
Nombre de messages: 14972
I must confess I've never heard of that idiom in this way.
"till the small hours" is used in a different context, like in: "I usually study till the small hours the night before an exam"

BTW, I haven't edited anything yet.

10 Septembre 2009 21:00

Aneta B.
Nombre de messages: 4487
Once again "suspiciously"... Doesn't have the word negative connotation?

"With disbelief" is literal translation. He absorbs my world and can't believe in it and he is surprised by my world, because it is so big and different then his one and so various and maybe even fascinating for him. So, that is actually his disbelief with feeling of big surprise. Positive connotation.

Sorry, nothing was changed in this line. Only the word "absent-minded" was changed into "distant"...

10 Septembre 2009 21:25

lilian canale
Nombre de messages: 14972
What about "astonished"?

10 Septembre 2009 21:33

Aneta B.
Nombre de messages: 4487
Yes!
This is just what I meant!

10 Septembre 2009 21:39

lilian canale
Nombre de messages: 14972
Fine, then I think we hit the nail on the head and the version is ready.

10 Septembre 2009 22:07

iluvmilka
Nombre de messages: 77
Lilian, that's just brilliant! Really really good and professional translation. Im well impressed!

10 Septembre 2009 22:13

Aneta B.
Nombre de messages: 4487
Yes it is, but what about the "praise". I don't like it too much

11 Septembre 2009 01:21

lilian canale
Nombre de messages: 14972
The 'praise' was gone!

11 Septembre 2009 09:35

Aneta B.
Nombre de messages: 4487
Thank you!
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