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Translation - Romanian-English - Cobori în jos, luceafăr blând, alunecând pe o rază.

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Title
Cobori în jos, luceafăr blând, alunecând pe o rază.
Text
Submitted by outdoor
Source language: Romanian

Cobori în jos, luceafăr blând, alunecând pe o rază.

Title
Fly down, my tender Evening Star,
Translation
English

Translated by Oana F.
Target language: English

Fly down, my tender Evening Star,
Smoothly gliding on a beam…
Last validated or edited by lilian canale - 3 April 2008 18:31





Latest messages

Author
Message

2 April 2008 18:14

Oana F.
Number of messages: 388
Dear, I also could copy Petre Grimm's English version, which is wonderful, and probably also the person who asked for the translation could do that. It's about deontology...

2 April 2008 07:47

azitrad
Number of messages: 970
Descend to me, mild Evening-star
Thou canst glide on a beam

2 April 2008 10:38

greenbutterfly
Number of messages: 9
luceafar=lucifer

2 April 2008 16:51

iepurica
Number of messages: 2102
arcobaleno, please, limit yourself to the languages you are actually know! Don't interfere without a proper reason.

CC: arcobaleno

2 April 2008 20:06

iepurica
Number of messages: 2102
greenbutterfly, lucifer is used as an alternative name for the devil I don't believe it can be used that word in this context. I would use for "luceafar" "Evening star" or "Morning star", as we used it in Romanian.

Anyway, lilian can confirm or infirm it.

2 April 2008 17:18

Kyandra
Number of messages: 8
I believe sounds better "come down" than "fly down"... my opinion anyway...

2 April 2008 18:32

Oana F.
Number of messages: 388
You may be right, Kyandra. I just have the feeling that "come down" is like "come down from that tree!" or "come down" plus something very concrete, is just a feeling, I may be wrong...
To Azitrad: please, don't give Peter Grimm's version, I know it, I could copy it myself

2 April 2008 21:52

arcobaleno
Number of messages: 226
Iepurica,I really do not know what was written from "arcobaleno" from above..At the moment that it is write..I was not in front of my computer at all..(and nobody was)!I saw this request for translation after your message.


So..according to me:

The original text must be" "Cobori în jos, luceafăr "blând",alunecând pe-o rază"
"blând" not "bând"

"luceafărul de seară" - in Romanian is "evening star "
"luceafărul de dimineaţă" in Romanian is "morning star"
So..in my opinion, "luceafăr" can be used like both..
For the rest..I really do not know Romanian enough..

3 April 2008 14:10

MÃ¥ddie
Number of messages: 1285
"A coborî" nu poate fi tradus "fly down."
Şi nu aş mai fi adăugat "smoothly".
Cred că pasajul putea fi tradus mult mai bine şi chiar există traduceri care dovedesc asta.

3 April 2008 14:27

cucumis
Number of messages: 3785
acro, we have hundreds of romanian native speakers here. Try to choose more carefuly the translations you want to contribute to. We don't need a long post like this that ends with "I really do not know Romanian enough".

4 April 2008 09:47

Oana F.
Number of messages: 388
To English experts: These are verses from a very well-known Romanian poem, which, of course, was already translated into English. This is the translation word by word: "Come down, mild Evening-star
Gliding on a beam"
I didn't want to copy the translation from others, thing that also the requester could do, without asking for the translation on cucumis

These are already aknowledged translations:
Cuclin and Grimm: "Descend to me, mild Evening-star
Thou canst glide on a beam,"

Popescu:" Come down, good Lucifer and kind ,
O lord of my aspire, "
I invite those who criticize my translation to suggest a better translation, without copying from others and, of course, keeping in the same time the rythm of the poem


4 April 2008 14:41

azitrad
Number of messages: 970
Sorry, Oana F., I really didn't mean to offend you. The idea was that there were some great persons who already translated this great poem. I am sure there are hundreds of other translations of it.

I strongly believe that the scope of cucumis is to help eachother with translations and not to re-invent hot water.