Translation - Turkish-English - bu dogum gününde yanında olmayı cok isterdim ama...

I'd really like to be with you on this birthday of yours, but at any rate I am not going to come because I don't want to cause you a problem and stress and because I'm afraid of not being able to get the same degree of warmth and love from you as before. Even if I did come, I know you wouldn't be angry - I know that - you'll be by my side again,
but you wouldn't come to be with me as before, but just for the sake of the old days and to relive the good old days and even if you weren't going to come you would because you would feel that you owed it to me, in order not to make me sad. You're a very good person, you know, you'd come just in order not to be a bad person. Take care of yourself. pa