Translation - Turkish-English - Kutahya'nin Pinar Lari

Hi buketnur

Nice translation! Some minor remarks:

- Is it definitely 'patrols'? That sounds a bit like police or security guards patrolling, something they don't tend to do arm in arm.

- Should we leave 'Åžalvar' untranslated and keep your remark in the comments field? 'baggy trousers' is certainly what it is (judging from the images that came up when I searched the word) but the English 'baggy trousers' most commonly refer to a very different kind of trousers.

- second verse: 'so or such that' sounds awkward. How about just 'can it be so'? or 'can it be like this or like that'?
Same verse: a more common way to put this in English would be 'Ah, if I die, will this world be yours?' - is that ok?

- red bloods -? could we make that 'red blood' or 'red blood stains' or 'red stains of blood'?

Otherwise, nice work
Let me know what you think of my suggestions

hi,TRANSLATİNG THİS TEXT a bit diffucult ,because it is a folk song and it has lots of words peculiar to this culture. I agree with you about "will this world be yours?" , it sounds more poetic. ALso about "can it be so or such that" , "öyle böyle olur mu?" o=that öyle= so that, bu=this böyle= so this "öyle böyle" is an expression , they are used together. I don't know how to tranlate it?

In addition, I need help for the meaning of the sentence began with patrols. We can set a poll, I also wonder how to tranlate it.

OK
I will set a poll to get some reactions from others.

I also found this translation of this song, but it may be less literal than you are trying to do. Maybe it gives you some ideas

that translation you found, seems more beautiful and more natural ,but in that tranlsation, some parts is changed so differently than the original one, some sentences I think are wrong.

what about "patrolmen"?

and, "arm in arm": i guess the turkish part "kol kol olmuÅŸ" means "patrolmen in troops". "kol" means both "arm" and "troop", and for this song the second is more suitable, in my opinion.

is "guards" an option? (found it in the translation I was talking about earlier)

it is, as long as they walk around to police

Patrols look at one another arm in arm...> The Patrols lined up and looked at

This is really well done - I especially liked your use of the notes to explain the more obscure items.

Here are my suggestions for improvement:

"can it be so or such that?" --> "is this the way it must be?" (I think we need a loose translation here, because the original just doesn't make sense in English - it's like an idiom)

My raft? What is that here? Is the funeral procession on water?

I'm not sure "patrols" works here - maybe "troops", or "watchmen".

Also, you might want to explain the significance of the felt shalvar in your note (I'm not sure I would know what it is).

ÅŸalvar is a kind of traditional and local trousers.
about raft , here is literature, there is made a comparison between raft and death( or lifetime). the end of life is resembled like a raft which takes path during the journey and which has a destination. A raft reaches the ultimate destination( musalla). THere is not really a funneral on the river with a raft.

With this explanation, I suddenly like the song a lot more! Thanks! I have edited, mostly the notes. Let me know if you don't agree

"arm in arm" part, again, it is not "arm in arm". turkish part means that they are in small groups.

I agree with duguit, for that sentence I wanted a poll. I think it is better

Sorry, I have been off line for a while. I have edited and accepted. Thank you buketnur and others