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Переклад - Турецька-Англійська - Kutahya'nin Pinar Lari

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Заголовок
Kutahya'nin Pinar Lari
Текст
Публікацію зроблено leobaldeon
Мова оригіналу: Турецька

Kütahya'nın pınarları akışır
Devriyeler kol kol olmuş bakışır
Asalıya çuha şalvar yakışır

Amman amman vehbim öyle böyle olur mu
Ah ben ölürsem dünya sana kalır mı

Salım geldi musallaya dayandı
Karbeyaz vehbim al kanlara boyandı
Karbeyaz tenim al kanlara boyandı
Seni vuran oğlan nasıl dayandı

Amman amman vehbim öyle böyle olur mu
Ah ben ölürsem dünya sana kalır mı

Заголовок
A folk song
Переклад
Англійська

Переклад зроблено buketnur
Мова, якою перекладати: Англійська

The springs of Kütahya flow.
Watchmen in small groups look at each other.
The felt ÅŸalvar suits the one with the stick.

Ah mercy my Vehbi, is this the way it must be?
Ah if I die, will this world be yours?

My raft came and drew near the musalla.
My snowwhite Vehbi was coloured with red blood.
My snowwhite skin was coloured with red blood.
How did the boy who shot you endure?

Ah mercy my Vehbi, is this the way it must be?
Ah if I die, will this world be yours?
Пояснення стосовно перекладу
Vehbi is a male name.

Kütahya is a city in Turkey.

Musalla is a stone on which the coffin is placed during the funeral service.

My raft: this is a reference to literature where a raft is used as an analogy for death. The end of life is resembled as a raft which takes a path during the journey and which has a destination. A raft reaches the ultimate destination (musalla). There is not really a funeral on the river with a raft.

ÅŸalvar is a kind of traditional and local trousers.

Note: I used "musalla" because there isn't a word in English for it.
Затверджено Lein - 5 Січня 2011 11:23





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16 Грудня 2010 16:36

Lein
Кількість повідомлень: 3389
Hi buketnur

Nice translation! Some minor remarks:

- Is it definitely 'patrols'? That sounds a bit like police or security guards patrolling, something they don't tend to do arm in arm.

- Should we leave 'Åžalvar' untranslated and keep your remark in the comments field? 'baggy trousers' is certainly what it is (judging from the images that came up when I searched the word) but the English 'baggy trousers' most commonly refer to a very different kind of trousers.

- second verse: 'so or such that' sounds awkward. How about just 'can it be so'? or 'can it be like this or like that'?
Same verse: a more common way to put this in English would be 'Ah, if I die, will this world be yours?' - is that ok?

- red bloods -? could we make that 'red blood' or 'red blood stains' or 'red stains of blood'?

Otherwise, nice work
Let me know what you think of my suggestions

16 Грудня 2010 19:28

buketnur
Кількість повідомлень: 266
hi,TRANSLATİNG THİS TEXT a bit diffucult ,because it is a folk song and it has lots of words peculiar to this culture. I agree with you about "will this world be yours?" , it sounds more poetic. ALso about "can it be so or such that" , "öyle böyle olur mu?" o=that öyle= so that, bu=this böyle= so this "öyle böyle" is an expression , they are used together. I don't know how to tranlate it?

16 Грудня 2010 19:32

buketnur
Кількість повідомлень: 266
In addition, I need help for the meaning of the sentence began with patrols. We can set a poll, I also wonder how to tranlate it.

17 Грудня 2010 13:14

Lein
Кількість повідомлень: 3389
OK
I will set a poll to get some reactions from others.

I also found this translation of this song, but it may be less literal than you are trying to do. Maybe it gives you some ideas

17 Грудня 2010 14:27

buketnur
Кількість повідомлень: 266
that translation you found, seems more beautiful and more natural ,but in that tranlsation, some parts is changed so differently than the original one, some sentences I think are wrong.

17 Грудня 2010 14:54

duguit
Кількість повідомлень: 40
what about "patrolmen"?

and, "arm in arm": i guess the turkish part "kol kol olmuÅŸ" means "patrolmen in troops". "kol" means both "arm" and "troop", and for this song the second is more suitable, in my opinion.

17 Грудня 2010 14:59

Lein
Кількість повідомлень: 3389
is "guards" an option? (found it in the translation I was talking about earlier)

17 Грудня 2010 15:09

duguit
Кількість повідомлень: 40
it is, as long as they walk around to police

18 Грудня 2010 15:25

merdogan
Кількість повідомлень: 3769
Patrols look at one another arm in arm...> The Patrols lined up and looked at

20 Грудня 2010 19:55

kafetzou
Кількість повідомлень: 7963
This is really well done - I especially liked your use of the notes to explain the more obscure items.

Here are my suggestions for improvement:

"can it be so or such that?" --> "is this the way it must be?" (I think we need a loose translation here, because the original just doesn't make sense in English - it's like an idiom)

My raft? What is that here? Is the funeral procession on water?

I'm not sure "patrols" works here - maybe "troops", or "watchmen".

Also, you might want to explain the significance of the felt shalvar in your note (I'm not sure I would know what it is).

21 Грудня 2010 15:13

buketnur
Кількість повідомлень: 266
ÅŸalvar is a kind of traditional and local trousers.
about raft , here is literature, there is made a comparison between raft and death( or lifetime). the end of life is resembled like a raft which takes path during the journey and which has a destination. A raft reaches the ultimate destination( musalla). THere is not really a funneral on the river with a raft.

22 Грудня 2010 18:31

Lein
Кількість повідомлень: 3389
With this explanation, I suddenly like the song a lot more! Thanks! I have edited, mostly the notes. Let me know if you don't agree

23 Грудня 2010 08:18

duguit
Кількість повідомлень: 40
"arm in arm" part, again, it is not "arm in arm". turkish part means that they are in small groups.

23 Грудня 2010 17:15

buketnur
Кількість повідомлень: 266
I agree with duguit, for that sentence I wanted a poll. I think it is better

3 Січня 2011 12:23

Lein
Кількість повідомлень: 3389
Sorry, I have been off line for a while. I have edited and accepted. Thank you buketnur and others