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Translation - Swedish-English - Vill inte sörja det vi aldrig blev. Vid öppnade...

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กลุ่ม Poetry - Love / Friendship

Title
Vill inte sörja det vi aldrig blev. Vid öppnade...
Text
Submitted by Solei
Source language: Swedish

Vill inte sörja
det vi aldrig blev.
Vid öppnade fönster vänder jag mina kläder ut och in och vid tvättstället tvagar jag min hud blödande ren.
räknat våra stunder då din kärlek omgärdade mej.
så länge
vill inte minnas mer
vill bara tro jag drömde en dröm.
Remarks about the translation
tvaga = gammalt ord för tvätta

Title
Don't want to mourn that it never became we.
Translation
English

Translated by pias
Target language: English

Don't want to mourn that it never became we.
At open windows I turn my clothes inside out and at the sink I wash my skin bleeding clean.
I have counted the moments when our love sorrounded me.
For now.
Don't want to remember more.
Just want to believe that I dreamed a dream.
Validated by Tantine - 13 January 2008 14:35





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12 January 2008 09:02

pias
จำนวนข้อความ: 8113
Thanks Tantine, I'll edit that.

12 January 2008 09:05

pias
จำนวนข้อความ: 8113
Oh...Tantine,
now I see..the meaning is that he/she wash her skinn bleeding clean, not wash her bleeding skin clean. How to put that right in English?


12 January 2008 12:32

Piagabriella
จำนวนข้อความ: 641
"Inside out" instead of "outside in"?
(Is "outside in" often used in english? It's just an expression, so despite the order of it being the opposite in Swedish I think it doesn't matter... I think the best is to use the most "usual" expression if there is any such (or maybe both are okey? I just never heard any "outside in" before...)

Not so important, and I might be wrong, but anyway...

12 January 2008 22:20

Tantine
จำนวนข้อความ: 2747
Absolutely Piagabriella

I missed that out It should read "inside out" in English.

Pia - I'm not sure what you mean exactly by the skin "bleeding clean", is it someone who has "scrubbed themself to the bone", in that case I can accept the poetic term of a skin "bleedng clean".

Bises
Tantine

13 January 2008 07:20

pias
จำนวนข้อความ: 8113
Yes Tantine, that is what it say,

13 January 2008 09:41

Piagabriella
จำนวนข้อความ: 641
Okey, don't forget to change then (to "inside out"!

13 January 2008 09:41

Piagabriella
จำนวนข้อความ: 641
Okey, don't forget to change it then (to "inside out"!

13 January 2008 09:50

pias
จำนวนข้อความ: 8113
Pia, this translation is already accepted, that's why I haven't done any corrections...

Tantine, shall we (I) edit ??

13 January 2008 12:41

Piagabriella
จำนวนข้อความ: 641
Yes, I noticed that... so then, if wrong, it should already have been corrected... ???

But if it should be changed I guess we should do it anyway? Well, somewhat confusing...

13 January 2008 12:59

pias
จำนวนข้อความ: 8113
Hi Pia
The "thing" is that dramati accepted this translation before Tantine agreed to your proposal, so maybe he think that it's ok to say: "outside in"


13 January 2008 13:03

pias
จำนวนข้อความ: 8113
Hi dramati,
could you please take a look at the discussion above and tell if this accepted translation should be corrected...

Is it ok as it is?

CC: dramati

13 January 2008 14:02

dramati
จำนวนข้อความ: 972
At open windows I turn my clothes outside in and at the sink I wash my skin bleeding clean
Is the line in question. As a poem, you can pretty much say it either way...and yes, I have heard, in Wisconsin and other states with a large Norse population, the term wash my skin bleeding clean, so it is ok. The issue about the cloths...well, sure you could say inside out...but again, in a poem we can often say things a bit strangely. If you think that inside out is better, fine...outside in...also fine, if you, the translator, thinks it catches the spirit of the poem.

13 January 2008 14:12

pias
จำนวนข้อความ: 8113
Ok, thanks a lot for your answer dramati.

So, I correct to Pias proposal now.

13 January 2008 14:16

pias
จำนวนข้อความ: 8113
hm, I guess I can't correct it.. (no edit button!)

13 January 2008 14:32

Tantine
จำนวนข้อความ: 2747
I'll see what I can do pias
don't worry


13 January 2008 14:38

pias
จำนวนข้อความ: 8113
Good Thanks!
you got the monkey wrench now, right?

13 January 2008 14:39

Tantine
จำนวนข้อความ: 2747
Hi Pias

As "Admin" I have an edit button on this so I was able to intervene despite dramati having validated before we had finished our work!

phew, all is well that ends well

Let me know if this is the definitive version?

Bises
Tantine

13 January 2008 14:43

pias
จำนวนข้อความ: 8113
Yes..this looks good now, thanks.

13 January 2008 16:01

Piagabriella
จำนวนข้อความ: 641
Okay, sounds a bit like it wasn't a change that really had to be done... I didn't know all that dramati told and english is not really my language... so sorry about giving you some not so necessary work!

13 January 2008 16:22

pias
จำนวนข้อความ: 8113
Pia, it was NOT "not so necessary work!"
This is one good thing about the discusions, sometimes they help the translation to get better...and YES...It looks better to say "inside out" than the other way.

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