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Translation - Portuguese brazilian-English - Soneto (5) do goncin

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Title
Soneto (5) do goncin
Text
Submitted by goncin
Source language: Portuguese brazilian

QUINZE MINUTOS

Os momentos se passam como não se espera.
Pois quem diria eu conhecê-la numa dança,
Arte que não domino, em confissão sincera,
E por breve haver de sua carícia mansa?

Aceitante do convite deu-me a mão macia,
Dizia ao olhar e nos passos sensuais.
Em sua boca o licor que a paixão propicia,
Delícia dos deuses, veneno dos mortais.

Mas prouve partir, tampouco houvera chegado;
Ao desejar-se, é impossível que se dome
Tudo que o tira de seu algo desejado.

E recordando, um questionário me consome,
Quase nada sei de alguém que esteve ao meu lado,
Um anjo de branco de quem sei somente o nome...

Title
Sonnet 5 (by Goncin)
Translation
English

Translated by lilian canale
Target language: English

FIFTEEN MINUTES

Moments happen in a way we don’t expect
for who could imagine I’d meet her in a dance?
An art I am not good at, honestly,
and for a moment receive her soft caress?

Accepting the invitation, she offered me a silky hand,
saying it through her look and sensual steps
In her mouth, the nectar that passion gives
delight of the gods, poison of the humans.

But she had to leave, soon after she had arrived;
When desiring, it is impossible to tame
all that keeps you apart from that desire.

As I remember, a question distresses me,
hardly anything I know of the one who was next to me,
an angel in white of whom I know only the name.

Validated by dramati - 19 February 2008 08:57





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18 February 2008 17:52

goncin
จำนวนข้อความ: 3706
Well... here we go!

In this one, the poet refers to his beloved one in 3rd person. Therefore, for instance,

1) for who could imagine I’d meet you in a dance? ->
for who could imagine I’d meet her in a dance?

2) and for a moment have your soft caress? -> and for a moment have her soft caress?

And so on.

Lilian, I never use "você" in my sonnets . Everytime you'll see "seu/sua" on them, you can be sure it refers to the 3rd person, usually "ela".

Finally,

But it had to be over, better if it hadn’t started -> But she had to go, she, who was just arrived (or something alike).

A very nice work, as ever. Thanks once more!

,

18 February 2008 18:34

lilian canale
จำนวนข้อความ: 14972
DONE! Is that OK now, poet?

18 February 2008 18:40

goncin
จำนวนข้อความ: 3706
Looks good, Li.

The other ones I'll take a look as soon as possible.

18 February 2008 18:44

lilian canale
จำนวนข้อความ: 14972
I have already looked for this kind of mistake in the others, but didn't find one. At least, nothing related to 2nd and 3rd person exchange. But you may find others, of course.