Переклад - Португальська (Бразилія)-Англійська - Soneto (5) do goncin

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Soneto (5) do goncin

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goncin

Мова оригіналу: Португальська (Бразилія)

QUINZE MINUTOS

Os momentos se passam como nÃ£o se espera.
Pois quem diria eu conhecÃª-la numa danÃ§a,
Arte que nÃ£o domino, em confissÃ£o sincera,
E por breve haver de sua carÃcia mansa?

Aceitante do convite deu-me a mÃ£o macia,
Dizia ao olhar e nos passos sensuais.
Em sua boca o licor que a paixÃ£o propicia,
DelÃcia dos deuses, veneno dos mortais.

Mas prouve partir, tampouco houvera chegado;
Ao desejar-se, Ã© impossÃvel que se dome
Tudo que o tira de seu algo desejado.

E recordando, um questionÃ¡rio me consome,
Quase nada sei de alguÃ©m que esteve ao meu lado,
Um anjo de branco de quem sei somente o nome...

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Sonnet 5 (by Goncin)

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Англійська

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lilian canale

Мова, якою перекладати: Англійська

FIFTEEN MINUTES

Moments happen in a way we donâ€™t expect
for who could imagine Iâ€™d meet her in a dance?
An art I am not good at, honestly,
and for a moment receive her soft caress?

Accepting the invitation, she offered me a silky hand,
saying it through her look and sensual steps
In her mouth, the nectar that passion gives
delight of the gods, poison of the humans.

But she had to leave, soon after she had arrived;
When desiring, it is impossible to tame
all that keeps you apart from that desire.

As I remember, a question distresses me,
hardly anything I know of the one who was next to me,
an angel in white of whom I know only the name.

Затверджено dramati - 19 Лютого 2008 08:57

Останні повідомлення

	Автор	Повідомлення
		18 Лютого 2008 17:52
	goncin Кількість повідомлень: 3706	Well... here we go! In this one, the poet refers to his beloved one in 3rd person. Therefore, for instance, 1) for who could imagine Iâ€™d meet you in a dance? -> for who could imagine Iâ€™d meet her in a dance? 2) and for a moment have your soft caress? -> and for a moment have her soft caress? And so on. Lilian, I never use "vocÃª" in my sonnets . Everytime you'll see "seu/sua" on them, you can be sure it refers to the 3rd person, usually "ela". Finally, But it had to be over, better if it hadnâ€™t started -> But she had to go, she, who was just arrived (or something alike). A very nice work, as ever. Thanks once more! ,
		18 Лютого 2008 18:34
	lilian canale Кількість повідомлень: 14972	DONE! Is that OK now, poet?
		18 Лютого 2008 18:40
	goncin Кількість повідомлень: 3706	Looks good, Li. The other ones I'll take a look as soon as possible.
		18 Лютого 2008 18:44
	lilian canale Кількість повідомлень: 14972	I have already looked for this kind of mistake in the others, but didn't find one. At least, nothing related to 2nd and 3rd person exchange. But you may find others, of course.