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Translation - French-English - Dépouillée de tout ce qui faisait ma joie, la vie...

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Title
Dépouillée de tout ce qui faisait ma joie, la vie...
Text
Submitted by RedShadow
Source language: French

Dépouillée de tout ce qui faisait ma joie, la vie n’est que lassitude et douleur. Ainsi donc, j’ai essayé de retenir ce qui n’existe plus ; d’inventer le rêve d’une vie perdue. Et j’ai réussi trop de fois… ; et je me damnerai, peut-être, pour cela. Je serais bientôt mis en Jugement ; c'est-à-dire : compté, pesé, divisé (MENE, TEKEL, PERES, tu le sais…) ; prêt pour aller « mit dem Engel reden »…
Remarks about the translation
Ce texte est pour une lettre à une amie de la Silésie polonaise qui comprend bien peu de français.
Je voudrais un style littéraire, mais gardant à la fois le sens exact.

OTHER LANGUAGE REQUESTED : SILESIAN LANGUAGE

Title
Stripped of everything that made my happiness, my life...
Translation
English

Translated by RedShadow
Target language: English

Stripped of everything that made my happiness, my life is nothing but lassitude and pain. So then, I have tried to keep hold of that which doesn’t exist anymore; dreaming up a lost life. And too many times, I succeeded...; and I will—perhaps—damn myself for this. Soon, I would stand and be judged; that is to say: counted; weighted; divided (MENE, TEKEL, PERES, you know it...); ready to go “mit dem Engel reden”...
Remarks about the translation
Looks like “mit dem Engel reden” means "talk to the angels". So I guess we could say 'ready to talk' / 'ready to go talk'

I am not too knowledgeable about the Bible so... The 'MENE, TEKEL, PERES' stuff seems to describe a kingdom being 'evaluated' the same way someone would be counting money/coins:
(count) summarized, totaled; (weight) equalized; (divide) subdivided.
Validated by lilian canale - 22 October 2012 21:58





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15 September 2012 04:21

Lev van Pelt
จำนวนข้อความ: 313
Hi RedShadow!
I've written a few words about this translation to English below the Polish translation. No need to copy&paste them here.
Best regards!

15 September 2012 04:55

Lev van Pelt
จำนวนข้อความ: 313
... With respect to that German quotation (meaning, more or less, "to talk with the Angel" ), it does not require translation here.

15 September 2012 11:17

RedShadow
จำนวนข้อความ: 143
Thanks man.

'To keep hold of that which' was my 1st version.
Should have kept it.

My bad for the 'serais'-->'would'; I thought that was the futur tense ('serai' oops) ... my mistake.

Cya

15 September 2012 13:18

Lev van Pelt
จำนวนข้อความ: 313
Thanks to you RedShadow

And no "bad" at all since that conditional is very well hidden

(Just a typo that I see now is the double "d" in "redden" ).

15 September 2012 16:16

RedShadow
จำนวนข้อความ: 143
Yes I thought that was weird with the double D too!

However since you guys were talking about the Silesian German language I hesitated to mention it...


18 September 2012 07:12

Lev van Pelt
จำนวนข้อความ: 313
Hi again, Red!

I observe one more trifle that could be improved, if you agree:

I tried => I've tried


18 September 2012 09:23

RedShadow
จำนวนข้อความ: 143
Hey

Looks like you are right

Thanks