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Original text - French - Sibelle, est-ce que tu accepterais...Current status Original text
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กลุ่ม Free writing
| Sibelle, est-ce que tu accepterais... | Text to be translated Submitted by tomtseu | Source language: French
Sibelle
Est-ce que tu accepterais une invitation à dîner?
Brasier ardent Sur le brasier ardent de tes sentiments Je me suis posé Ta flamme a réveillé En moi ce Phoenix Qui ne fait que s'embraser |
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ตอบล่าสุด | | | | | 15 April 2007 16:48 | | | Sibelle,
Would you accept an invitation for dinner?
Live glowing coals
On the live glowing coals of your feelings
I came up
Your flame woke the Phoenix up inside me
who is just blazing up | | | 16 April 2007 01:00 | | | This is great, Francky - I think you should go ahead and translate it. I would make a few small changes:
1) "I came up" seems odd here. Is there another translation for this phrase?
2) Instead of "woke up", I'd just say "woke" - it's more poetic - or "awakened".
3) "who is just blazing up" is awkward, but I don't understand the French, so I can't help you there. | | | 16 April 2007 08:15 | | | - Instead of "I came up", what about "I perched", or "I alighted"
- "who is just flaring up" instead of "who is just blazing up" ("s'embraser", it is when you set the fire to smthg>>>il s'embrase...)>>>>
>>>"Sibelle, would you like an invitation for dinner?
Live glowing coals
On the live glowing coals of your feelings
I alighted (or "I perched"
Your flame woke the Phoenix inside me
Who is just flaring up"
| | | 16 April 2007 13:43 | | | Thank you - I forgot that this is a translation into Turkish, not into English, so I guess a Turkish person should do it now, but I'll try it if nobody else does in the next few days.
P.S. What's "just" here? | | | 16 April 2007 15:24 | | | "Just" , here is to translate "ne"..."que", which in French would mean "who is only beginning to flare up", but I don't know if I was right to translate that way... | | | 17 April 2007 00:37 | | | "who/which is only beginning to flare up" is a better translation - "just" gives the feeling that the only thing it can do is flare up. |
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