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Dịch - Turkish-English - Ayrýlýk günü düþtü peþime hüzün Ve býrakmadý kaç...

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Nhóm chuyên mục Song

Title
Ayrýlýk günü düþtü peþime hüzün Ve býrakmadý kaç...
Text
Submitted by mahouta
Source language: Turkish

Ayrýlýk günü düþtü peþime hüzün
Ve býrakmadý kaç yýl boyu
Boylu boyunca uzandým yanýna
Ama bana dönük deðildi yüzün

Aldanýp sana bekledim geçen güzü
Ve býrakmadým kaç yýl boyu
Zaman dolunca geldiysem yanýna
Sebep sana o gün verdiðim sözüm

Title
declaracion de separacion
Dịch
English

Translated by kfeto
Target language: English

On the day of separation sadness started pursuing me
and it persevered for several years.
I reached out with all my might for you
but you were not facing me.

Fooled by you I awaited the autumn to pass
and I persevered for several years.
The fact I came to you afterwards
is because of the promise I made you that day.
Validated by lilian canale - 16 Tháng 6 2008 03:36





Bài gửi sau cùng

Tác giả
Bài gửi

14 Tháng 6 2008 22:28

lilian canale
Tổng số bài gửi: 14972
Hi kfeto,

confusing text (poem?) , anyway there are some things I'd like to make clear.

"The day of separation" should read : "On the day of separation, (we need a comma here)

... reached out with all my might for you

"but you were not facing me" I didn't get that. Could it be "but you would not face me" (you didn't want to face me)?

"Fooled by you I awaited last autumn
and I persevered for several years."

This is confusing because "last autumn" must have been at most a year ago, so how could s/he have persevered for "several years"?
See what I mean?

"The fact I came to you afterwards
is because of the promise I made you that day."

This is correct, however I think it would sound lighter reducing it to:

"I came to you afterwards
for the promise I made you that day"

What do you think?

14 Tháng 6 2008 22:45

kfeto
Tổng số bài gửi: 953
ok, thank you lilian, i incorporated/corrected everything.
the last bit i'd rather leave because like this its closer to the original which is also 'heavy'
you were right about the autumn
about the face: litt it says "your face was not turned towards me" so i dont know how to render that

14 Tháng 6 2008 23:00

lilian canale
Tổng số bài gửi: 14972
OK, let's decide that "face" stuff at the poll.

Still about the "autumn passing", I wonder if what it means is that he was waiting for the autumn to end.
In that case it would be better:

"Fooled by you, I waited for the autumn to be over"

14 Tháng 6 2008 23:13

kfeto
Tổng số bài gửi: 953
litt it says: i awaited the autumn /that had passed/ or /that was passing/

"waiting for the autumn to end" would make more sense but is in turkish very different: "guzun gecmesini bekledim"

lilian how is your french btw;-) i just saw theres is french version. sadly my french is not exactly up to it

14 Tháng 6 2008 23:30

lilian canale
Tổng số bài gửi: 14972
Oh, yes, looking at the French version I would say that my guess was correct.
" j’ai attendu l’automne passé " means:
"I waited for the autumn to pass"

14 Tháng 6 2008 23:48

kfeto
Tổng số bài gửi: 953
hmmm wouldn't that be "attendu la passage d'automne"?
im pretty sure thats not what it says in turkish

but fine, just so long as it passes the poll...

14 Tháng 6 2008 23:49

Francky5591
Tổng số bài gửi: 12396
no, "j'ai attendu l'automne passé" is a poetic way, a little old fashioned, to say :"J'ai attendu que passe l'automne", ou "j'ai attendu que l'automne passe"...

16 Tháng 6 2008 02:04

kfeto
Tổng số bài gửi: 953
ok, thanks, francky and lilian,
i edited