Hi kfeto,
confusing text (poem?)
, anyway there are some things I'd like to make clear.
"The day of separation" should read : "On the day of separation
, (we need a comma here)
... reached out with all my might
for you
"but you were not facing me" I didn't get that. Could it be "but you would not face me" (you didn't want to face me)?
"Fooled by you
I awaited last autumn
and I persevered for several years."
This is confusing because "last autumn" must have been at most a year ago, so how could s/he have persevered for "several years"?
See what I mean?
"The fact I came to you afterwards
is because of the promise I made you that day."
This is correct, however I think it would sound lighter reducing it to:
"I came to you afterwards
for the promise I made you that day"
What do you think?