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Original text - French - Ce n'est pas maintenant que je vais ...

Current statusOriginal text
This text is available in the following languages: FrenchLatinhBreton

This translation request is "Meaning only".
Title
Ce n'est pas maintenant que je vais ...
Text to be translated
Submitted by momo353
Source language: French

Ce n'est pas maintenant que je vais poser mes deux genoux sur le bitume. Mon regard s'égare vers la lune, une lune grisâtre que j'aimerais voir blanche. Sous les vices de la vie j'impose mon espérance...
Remarks about the translation
<édit> "egard" with "s'égare" and "j'aimerai" with "j'aimerais -as this is the way it reads-</edit>(05/29/francky)
Edited by Francky5591 - 29 Tháng 5 2010 10:15





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Bài gửi

14 Tháng 6 2010 00:34

Aneta B.
Tổng số bài gửi: 4487
Hi, dear!
Now this is you who I ask a favour? Could you help me here with a bridge?

CC: Francky5591

14 Tháng 6 2010 10:12

Francky5591
Tổng số bài gửi: 12396
Hi Aneta!

Well, I'd really like to help you here, but as you know I'm not a native speaker of the English language, and since I registered here, the only texts I translated into English were very simple ones, where there is no ambiguity at all, which is not the case with this text above.

I can translate much longer and difficult texts from English into my native language, that is French, but about this kind of litterary prose above I don't feel like I'm able to leave a correct translation into English from it.(that means a correct bridge)

If you want to have an accurate bridge from such a text, better ask Ian, he's a real bi(even tri)linguist and will be able to give you a real bridge, that won't sound like a foreigner's one (which is unfortunately the case with many bridges here at )

Look to this tricky French expressions, it begins with "Ce n'est pas maintenant que...", which I'd be tempted to translate by : "It is not now that...", still knowing an English guy hearing that would begin to wonder what I'm talking about.

Keep on with "je vais poser mes deux genoux sur le bitume", I'd translate with "I'm going to put my two knees on the asphalt" You say that to an English guy, to him it's like you'd take your knees off your legs then put them down on the ground. so you'd better translate with "I'm going to kneel down on the asphalt"

moreover, getting back to the first expression "ce n'est pas maintenant que..." could also mean "I won't ...yet", or "I'm not ready yet "for" + gerundive or "to" + infinitive (and I don't know which tense is best to be used here)

"Mon regard s'égare vers la lune" my eyes are wandering to the moon" (or should I use the simple present?) "my eyes wander to the moon"

"une lune grisâtre que j'aimerais blanche..." "a greyish moon I'd like to be white..."

about the following " Sous les vices de la vie", what was meant by the guy who wrote that? I don't know at all! "vices de la vie" flaws of life"? "defects of life"? "imperfection of life"? "depravity of life"? "immorality of life"?

I certainly can't honestly pretend I can translate something I don't understand clearly into English.
"...j'impose mon espérance" "I impress ? I lay on? my hope"?

So with my approximative English, all you'll get is :

"It's not now yet that I'm going to kneel down on the asphalt. My eyes wander to the moon, a greyish one I'd like to be white. Under the flaws of life, I impress my hope"

So if you translate into Latin using this loose bridge, I'm afraid the result won't be an accurate translation. How could it be, as I honestly can't assume my bridge is correct




14 Tháng 6 2010 10:31

Francky5591
Tổng số bài gửi: 12396
Hi Ian, please could you help with a bridge for Aneta here?

As I said above, I really can't honestly assume the bridge I provided is an accurate translation from this French text.

Thanks a lot!

CC: IanMegill2

14 Tháng 6 2010 12:11

Aneta B.
Tổng số bài gửi: 4487
No problem Francky. I can understand your doubts. The problem is I don't know French, so I can't recognize which request is easy one and which is not. So, I asked you on spec.
Yes, it's better to ask Ian.

----

Hello Ian! Can I ask you a bridge, please, if you don't mind?

CC: IanMegill2

15 Tháng 6 2010 03:06

IanMegill2
Tổng số bài gửi: 1671
Well, as Franck said, this text is not one of the clearest, but here's my English version, which you can read in light of Franck's excellent explanations above:
---
I am not now about to kneel (literally: place my two knees) on the asphalt. My eyes (literally: my vision) drift towards the moon, a greyish moon that I would prefer to see white. In spite of all the problems (evil things) in life, I decide to maintain hope (literally, "I impose my hope" ).
---
And that's about the best that I can do, too. Please see Franck's explanations for alternative versions and ideas!

15 Tháng 6 2010 12:21

Aneta B.
Tổng số bài gửi: 4487
Salve amici! Multas gratias vobis ago!

Thank you so much! You helped me a lot!