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Translation - Russies-Engels - Баланс. Осторожность в смелости

Current statusTranslation
This text is available in the following languages: RussiesEngels

Category Newspapers

Title
Баланс. Осторожность в смелости
Text
Submitted by lanar
Source language: Russies

Баланс. Осторожность в смелости
Remarks about the translation
I would like you to translate or to comment my variant of translation of the bank's slogan. The above is the text for a banner to place on the English website. The idea of it is that our bank is prudent in an enterprise and cautious in making bold decisions. Our final decisions, being innovative are always wise and balanced. There will be a picture of weigh-scales on the right of the text.

My variant is the following:

BALANCE. SOUND JUDGEMENTS. BOLD DECISIONS.

I am afraid that BOLD has negative connotation and what i want is to find only positive words which will work together for a good image of the bank.

Could you help me please.

May be "Smart decisions" or any other variants, any binary constractions attractive enough to be an ad are possible.

Thanks in advance.

S.R.

Title
STRIKING THE BALANCE: bold decisions/sound judgments
Translation
Engels

Translated by ViaLuminosa
Target language: Engels

STRIKING THE BALANCE: bold decisions/sound judgments
Remarks about the translation
Hi, Ianar. When I read the slogan I was surprised that it advertised a bank actually. I expected it to be a security agency. I guess that speaks a lot...
My opinion is that your version is better. If you'd like to avoid the negative connotation of "bold", you could think of something like "brave", for instance.
Laaste geakkrediteerde redigering deur dramati - 31 Januarie 2008 21:28





Last messages

Author
Message

30 Januarie 2008 11:38

dramati
Number of messages: 972
Hi,

If this is supposed to be a slogan for a business ...it fails in English. We will have to work on this a little more. Explain exactly what the concept is and I will be happy to help.

Best,

David

30 Januarie 2008 21:48

dramati
Number of messages: 972
Ok. How about this slogan: STRIKING THE BALANCE: bold decisions/sound judgments.

I would suggest that you have a picture of a balance scale with bold decisions written on the right and sound judgments on the left, and just under the base of the scale STRIKING THE BALANCE.
This would be right for the company LOGO.

30 Januarie 2008 20:53

ViaLuminosa
Number of messages: 1116
Sounds good, Dramati. But the question is whether the translator should act as a copy writer. It's much as if we do somebody's (home)work and this could be seen as violation of the rules.

30 Januarie 2008 21:23

Tantine
Number of messages: 2747
Hi dramati, Hi ViaLuminosa

I don't think any rules are violated here, since it is not a school pupil getting his/her homework done.

I do like "Striking the balance" dramati, (single "l", I find it incisive.

Bises
Tantine

30 Januarie 2008 22:58

dramati
Number of messages: 972
So, the bottom line: what should we do about the slogan

31 Januarie 2008 07:29

lanar
Number of messages: 3
Hello ViaLuminosa, Tantine and dramati!

Sorry I am late with my answer but thank for your answers!

We do have a picture with a scales there.

dramati, I appreciate very much your help, you wrote that proposed variant "WILL BE RIGHT FOR THE COMPANY LOGO" but would you tell me please will it be a proper logo for the BANK?

I really need to know what it looks like from a native speaker point of view.

Our bank is relatively young and grows quickly, we are quite dinamic and do a lot to examine world's innovative banking products before adopting and introducing them to our clients.

I can also add that the most important thing for us is not to get a profit but not to lose money we have, especially when the market is not stable.

Thanks,
Lanar

31 Januarie 2008 07:37

dramati
Number of messages: 972
Hi,

I think it would look very good. It shows you are balanced, conservative...yet willing to be bold when necessary: it will give the population that saves money confidence and also the population that wants to invest with your bank the feeling that you are not OVER CONSERVATIVE and are willing to make careful investments.

31 Januarie 2008 08:43

ViaLuminosa
Number of messages: 1116
Dramati's slogan is best - let it be!

31 Januarie 2008 12:10

dramati
Number of messages: 972
So ViaLuminosa...do you want to edit?

31 Januarie 2008 17:06

ViaLuminosa
Number of messages: 1116
Dramati, I'm not sure what I am supposed to do (I'm new to here after all), so if you don't mind, do it instead of me - you have access to the text either. Thank you.

1 February 2008 10:21

Tantine
Number of messages: 2747
Hi VL

In order to edit (correct) a translation, you click on the blue "edit" button under the translation.

This will take you to a page where the text to be corrected is displayed in brown, in a dialogue box.

There is a timer on the page, so you need to do any edits within the timelock.

Once you have edited, you click on the send button at the bottom of the dialogue box.

Bises
Tantine

1 February 2008 11:24

ViaLuminosa
Number of messages: 1116
Thank you, Tantine

4 February 2008 08:05

lanar
Number of messages: 3
Hi, David!

Thank you for the replay. I am not sure that my understanding of the phrase is correct. Could you tell me please what "striking the balance" can mean for native speakers? Does it have the meaning of "resuming" or "summarizing" the process?

Kind regards,
Svetlana

4 February 2008 08:13

ViaLuminosa
Number of messages: 1116
One of the many meanings of the word "strike" is: make (balance), find the middle (point, number).

4 February 2008 09:04

lanar
Number of messages: 3
Thank you ViaLuminosa!

One more questions: does the ad need capitilizing all the phrase words(article exclusive)?

For example:

Striking the Balance: Sound Judgements * Bold Decisions

Thanks in advance.

4 February 2008 23:17

dramati
Number of messages: 972
It can be either way. It is really up to you.