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Переклад - Есперанто-Англійська - laudado al vi kaj via sinjoroj ho Alĝerio al...

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laudado al vi kaj via sinjoroj ho Alĝerio al...
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Публікацію зроблено alireza
Мова оригіналу: Есперанто

laudado al vi kaj viaj sinjoroj ho Alĝerio
al vi kaj viaj altrangulaj turmentitaj sinjoroj
malaperus vi malamikon se vi starus de via loko
ĝis ne sursidi vian nomon honta polvo

Заголовок
lauding you and your lords
Переклад
Англійська

Переклад зроблено zciric
Мова, якою перекладати: Англійська

lauding you and your Lords, oh Algeria
you and your high ranked, tormented Lords
would remove an enemy if you would stand up from your seat
unless your name became covered by dust of shame
Пояснення стосовно перекладу
this could be part of some kind of a poem or a pray
Затверджено dramati - 19 Лютого 2008 12:31





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16 Лютого 2008 09:01

Tantine
Кількість повідомлень: 2747
Hi zciric

I would take of the "s" from "yours", and put a comma between "high ranked" and "tormented".

"lords" should take a capital "L"

"To disappear" is not a verb, so we need to find another word.

The ending seems a bit complicated, I don't really understand he "ashamed dust", but the poll is there to help us sort this out

Bises
Tantine

17 Лютого 2008 21:24

zciric
Кількість повідомлень: 91
I put the changes.
So, I can change (add) punctuation marks when they are missing from the original texts?
Somewhere I read that I should leave everything as it is...

But in my dictionary they put v. beside "disappear" Anyway, I found another word. Better one?
Also for that dust...

Greetings

p.s.
"bises" ? What does that mean? I suppose, it is some kind to say "bye", but I'm interesting in the real meaning of the word. Thanks.

17 Лютого 2008 22:23

Tantine
Кількість повідомлень: 2747
Hi zciric

"Bises" is a sweet way of saying "kisses", in French.

The general rule is to leave the punctuation of the original text, but only when it is possible. Most of the time a translation becomes readable simply by adding a comma here and an exclamation mark there

Personally I will accept a text where the punctuation has been changed if it makes the text more easily readable.

I'm still having some difficulties with the end bit

Are you sure of the word "till"? It seems to create a contradiction here. I would have expected to see "lest" or "unless" - "lest your name be covered with the dust of shame"

Bises
Tantine


18 Лютого 2008 20:06

Bhatarsaigh
Кількість повідомлень: 253
My understanding of the original is a bit different.
First "laudado" is a noun and I think "praise" would fit quite well.
Because the "al" is repeated in line 2 I would say line 1 and 2 belong together and line 3 begins a new sentence.
"malaperus vi ..." would then translate to "would you remove ..."
The "ne" in line 4 changes the meaning to "until no dust rests"

My proposal:
Praise to you and your Lords, oh Algeria!
To you and your high ranked, tormented Lords.
Would you remove the enemy if you would stand up from your seat?
... until no dust of shame rests on your name?

I inserted rather a lot of punctuation to stress the way I understand the text - you could do with less.

Btw: "to disappear" is a verb, it's just not transitive

18 Лютого 2008 21:10

zciric
Кількість повідомлень: 91
Hi Tantine,

thanks for the explication. I was thinking about "kisses", but I wasn't sure.
Now I am sure.... and I can even see the meaning... A really obvious explain, really !

Now I, also, have more ideas what to do with the punctuation, (to put (be) or not (to be)),
what are the general rules and principles, and so on...

Till next message
Greetings

18 Лютого 2008 21:55

zciric
Кількість повідомлень: 91
Hi Bhatarsaigh,

Thanks for the suggestions, but I rather wouldn't change so much my translation. I didn't feel that question nuance so strong... in fact I didn't feel it at all.
That would be quit different way of translation, and I couldn't do that in that way.

Maybe it is better that you put your (new) translation instead of my eventual new correction... especially because I still don't feel so strong that question-nuance.

Greetings