| |
|
翻訳 - エスペラント-英語 - laudado al vi kaj via sinjoroj ho AlÄerio al...現状 翻訳
カテゴリ 歌 | laudado al vi kaj via sinjoroj ho AlÄerio al... | | 原稿の言語: エスペラント
laudado al vi kaj viaj sinjoroj ho AlÄerio al vi kaj viaj altrangulaj turmentitaj sinjoroj malaperus vi malamikon se vi starus de via loko Äis ne sursidi vian nomon honta polvo |
|
| lauding you and your lords | | 翻訳の言語: 英語
lauding you and your Lords, oh Algeria you and your high ranked, tormented Lords would remove an enemy if you would stand up from your seat unless your name became covered by dust of shame | | this could be part of some kind of a poem or a pray |
|
最終承認・編集者 dramati - 2008年 2月 19日 12:31
最新記事 | | | | | 2008年 2月 16日 09:01 | | | Hi zciric
I would take of the "s" from "yours", and put a comma between "high ranked" and "tormented".
"lords" should take a capital "L"
"To disappear" is not a verb, so we need to find another word.
The ending seems a bit complicated, I don't really understand he "ashamed dust", but the poll is there to help us sort this out
Bises
Tantine | | | 2008年 2月 17日 21:24 | | | I put the changes.
So, I can change (add) punctuation marks when they are missing from the original texts?
Somewhere I read that I should leave everything as it is...
But in my dictionary they put v. beside "disappear" Anyway, I found another word. Better one?
Also for that dust...
Greetings
p.s.
"bises" ? What does that mean? I suppose, it is some kind to say "bye", but I'm interesting in the real meaning of the word. Thanks. | | | 2008年 2月 17日 22:23 | | | Hi zciric
"Bises" is a sweet way of saying "kisses", in French.
The general rule is to leave the punctuation of the original text, but only when it is possible. Most of the time a translation becomes readable simply by adding a comma here and an exclamation mark there
Personally I will accept a text where the punctuation has been changed if it makes the text more easily readable.
I'm still having some difficulties with the end bit
Are you sure of the word "till"? It seems to create a contradiction here. I would have expected to see "lest" or "unless" - "lest your name be covered with the dust of shame"
Bises
Tantine
| | | 2008年 2月 18日 20:06 | | | My understanding of the original is a bit different.
First "laudado" is a noun and I think "praise" would fit quite well.
Because the "al" is repeated in line 2 I would say line 1 and 2 belong together and line 3 begins a new sentence.
"malaperus vi ..." would then translate to "would you remove ..."
The "ne" in line 4 changes the meaning to "until no dust rests"
My proposal:
Praise to you and your Lords, oh Algeria!
To you and your high ranked, tormented Lords.
Would you remove the enemy if you would stand up from your seat?
... until no dust of shame rests on your name?
I inserted rather a lot of punctuation to stress the way I understand the text - you could do with less.
Btw: "to disappear" is a verb, it's just not transitive | | | 2008年 2月 18日 21:10 | | | Hi Tantine,
thanks for the explication. I was thinking about "kisses", but I wasn't sure.
Now I am sure.... and I can even see the meaning... A really obvious explain, really !
Now I, also, have more ideas what to do with the punctuation, (to put (be) or not (to be)),
what are the general rules and principles, and so on...
Till next message
Greetings
| | | 2008年 2月 18日 21:55 | | | Hi Bhatarsaigh,
Thanks for the suggestions, but I rather wouldn't change so much my translation. I didn't feel that question nuance so strong... in fact I didn't feel it at all.
That would be quit different way of translation, and I couldn't do that in that way.
Maybe it is better that you put your (new) translation instead of my eventual new correction... especially because I still don't feel so strong that question-nuance.
Greetings
|
|
| |
|