Nowadays I'm so tired I'm always rebellious and distressed That miserable fate written on my forehead is like death; it would not fade The thing inside me is not a bullet The wound of love doesn't heal Tell him not to mention my name anymore Tell him that I haven't forgotten his lies yet Tell him that I'll keep his sins until the last judgement Tell him to know that, tell him to know that
I'd just suggest some changes to avoid repeating words.
"I'm always rebellious and distressed that miserable fate written on my forehead
is like death; it would not fade
"anymore" (one word)
"Tell him that I've hidden his sins for the last judgement "
I wonder if by "hidden" you mean "saved"
Your offers makes it more poetic, thanks a lot I'm gonna change them.
-- "Tell him that I've hidden his sins for the last judgement "--> here she wants to say that I won't take revenge from you, I will keep your sins in my mind/heart till the last day, so God will judge you not me. (oh my, I felt myself like a story teller. this translations make my imaginative power become richer day by day )
"Tell him I'll keep his sins until the Final Judgment"
And the last line sounds weird. It seems that we need an object after "know".
Tell him to know (sth).
What about changing it to: Let him know that (it)
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认可或编辑 - 2008年 八月 9日 14:34
I'm gonna change them.
)