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| | 2009年 9月 19日 19:46 |
| | Well, I had a problem with tenses here, as usual...
In Polish source it seems to be Praesent Continuous...- everywhere |
| | 2009年 9月 19日 20:46 |
| | The sunlight penetrates through the Earth -
Cold Mother of Beauty
Life-bringing rays
Warm wet roots
Stalks dance lithely
They quickly bear leaves
They spill over with lush greenery
With fragrant blossoms
In the mountains of Thy majesty
Every creation leads us
to ADORATION
of Thy generosity |
| | 2009年 9月 19日 20:47 |
| | P.S. I really like this one - it speaks to me. |
| | 2009年 9月 19日 20:59 |
| | To me too... Thank you, dear!
The meaning was conveyed in 100 percent! And "lithely"! I was looking for the accurate word and this is the best! The same with "lush"...
"Every creation leads us
to ADORATION
of Thy generosity"
You have changed the meaning here a bit, but I suppose that it is still close to my feeling...
Thank you!!!
And what will Lilly say? |
| | 2009年 9月 19日 21:06 |
| | I didn't understand how "creation" can "preach" - I took this part to mean that when we look at the beauty that God has created, it forces us to appreciate His generosity. Is that what you meant? |
| | 2009年 9月 19日 21:13 |
| | It was only a metaphor... |
| | 2009年 9月 19日 23:49 |
| | Ania has also translated the poem (maybe even before me), so we can think about her version too.
The light penetrates the Earth
- the cold Mother of Beauty.
The Life-giving streaks
Warm up the soggy roots
The stems are dancing flexibly.
swiftly giving birth to the leaves
Being covered with verdure
and blossoming fragrantly.
In the mountains of Your Majesty
All creation
Proclaims admiration of
Your Generosity
Thank you, Ania! |
| | 2009年 9月 20日 18:20 |
| | The sunlight penetrates through the Earth -
Cold Mother of Beauty
Life-bringing rays
Warm wet roots
Stalks dance lithely
They quickly bear leaves
They spill over with lush greenery
With fragrant blossoms
In the mountains of Thy Majesty
All creation
Proclaims ADORATION of
Thy Generosity
Compilation of Laura's, Ania's and my ideas...
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| | 2009年 9月 20日 19:44 |
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| | 2009年 9月 20日 19:49 |
| | I'm glad. For me too |
| | 2009年 9月 21日 07:40 |
| | But, what's better?
"I adore Thee" or "I worship Thee"?
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| | 2009年 9月 21日 16:33 |
| | They're both OK. BTW, Aneta, if you want the translator to work on the title, it should be in the translation field too. Otherwise she doesn't get credit for it. Of course, in this case YOU are the translator! |
| | 2009年 9月 21日 16:43 |
| | Oh! I didn't know about it! Thank you!
But "adore" can be used also to people, while
"worship" only to God, am I right? |
| | 2009年 9月 22日 03:38 |
| | Yes, basically, but when you use "Thee", it's clear that it's about God. |
| | 2009年 10月 17日 13:56 |
| | I have already edited the translation. Could you check it now, dear Laura? |
| | 2009年 10月 18日 18:31 |
| | I've made a few small changes (start --> begin to, the Creator God --> God the Creator) and I'll accept this if iluvmilka and one or two others say it's OK.
The problem is, how do I rate this, since you initially translated it yourself, but the current version is a conglomeration of your version, ania's version, and my corrections??? CC: lilian canale |
| | 2009年 10月 18日 18:58 |
| | If you are asking what I would do, I'd say that IMO it would be fair accepting it with no rating. |
| | 2009年 10月 18日 19:36 |
| | Ah yes - I forgot about that option - thanks, Lilian. |
| | 2009年 10月 18日 22:40 |
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