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13 Januar 2011 14:01 |
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LeinAnzahl der Beiträge: 3389 | Hi patty bouvier 
Just a few remarks here to improve the English text, please let me know what you think of them:
A good girl ran away earlier
Left childhood's beautiful place
Left the parents and even
The man she was promised to
In front of a house she stopped
Inside a man could be seen
Wild one stuck into bare skin -> This was a mistake in the request I think - it should be: der Bilder stach in nackte Haut -> who pierced pictures into naked / bare skin
Then the good girl shouted loudly, or (I think this fits better) shouted out
Master, master give me roses
Roses on my white dress
Stick the flowers into the naked
Untouched body of this girl
"These roses cost blood"
Spoke master soft and good
"They cut your young life short,
I'd rather not give you any"
But the girl was in love
On her knees persisted
Till he didn't resist anymore
And he took the needle in his hand
And from his deep incision
Grew leaves, grew bloods
Grew unknown pains
In the heart of the young girl
Later somebody saw her
Standing alone at the water's edge
Nobody ever discovered
What price the Mmaster took... |
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13 Januar 2011 14:00 |
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LeinAnzahl der Beiträge: 3389 | Hi nevena
Have a look at my post above and if you agree, could you correct the second verse? ('der wilde stach' -> 'der Bilder stach' )
Thank you!  CC: nevena-77 |
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13 Januar 2011 14:31 |
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Freya Anzahl der Beiträge: 1910 | I'm sorry for the trouble. I took the lyrics from the internet. It seems that I didn't pick a good source. 
Thank you all! |
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13 Januar 2011 14:40 |
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LeinAnzahl der Beiträge: 3389 | No worries, only a small mistake |
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14 Januar 2011 10:59 |
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LeinAnzahl der Beiträge: 3389 | No reply 
I have edited. Next time, patty, please let us know what you think when there are people trying to help and improve your translations
Could one of the German experts please edit the line in the second verse?
der wilde stach -> der Bilder stach in nackte Haut
Thanks! CC: nevena-77 iamfromaustria |
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14 Januar 2011 11:36 |
| | I'm so sorry that i replied so late.But i'm busy with my exams.And i'm glad that you've edited my mistakes.
Thanks. |
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14 Januar 2011 11:38 |
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LeinAnzahl der Beiträge: 3389 | OK, no worries and good luck with your exams
(I saw you had logged in but not replied, that is why I went ahead and edited.) |
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14 Januar 2011 11:42 |
| | Thanks a lot.
Yes,but there isn't enough time for me to edit.I hope you'll understand. |
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14 Januar 2011 15:17 |
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Dear Lein,
I agree with you for,
"who pierced pictures into bare skin"
"shouted out"
and
But the girl was in love...> But the girl was in crazy love
Mmaster...> master (last line) |
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14 Januar 2011 15:47 |
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LeinAnzahl der Beiträge: 3389 | Oops! Corrected the double M! I'll wait for patty's reply on the other point |
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14 Januar 2011 16:09 |
| | Yes,i agree with merdogan for, 'but the girl was in crazy love.' |
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