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Traduction - Anglais-Latin - The path of the righteous man is beset on all...

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Ce texte est disponible dans les langues suivantes: AnglaisLatin

Titre
The path of the righteous man is beset on all...
Texte
Proposé par chrc@ofir.dk
Langue de départ: Anglais

The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the iniquities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who in the name of charity and good will shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children

Titre
Iter viri integri vitae
Traduction
Latin

Traduit par aluji
Langue d'arrivée: Latin

Iter viri iusti ab injuriis improborum atque tyrranide nefandorum undique circumsedetur. Ille beatus qui pro caritate numineque fessos per vallem umbrosam ducat, nam nempe custos fratris et liberorum recuperator peritorum est.
Commentaires pour la traduction
First part modeled after Horace's Ode 1.22. Original quote contains many Biblical allusions which I tried to approximate well. ("Custos fratris" is taken directly from the Vulgate Bible.) I considered taking more liberties to better commute the feeling of the quote but ended up being fairly literal.
Dernière édition ou validation par Aneta B. - 15 Mai 2012 20:44





Derniers messages

Auteur
Message

13 Mai 2012 19:11

Aneta B.
Nombre de messages: 4487
Hi alui,
I like your translation very much. I have got just some doubts.
I can't understand why you have used a verb "circumstare" in the first sentence.
"Beset" - circumsedere?
And what does this "vitae" refer to?

Moreover, I don't like too much this "inventor", you have used in the second sentence, because it reminds me too much of English word "inventor". You know it seems that the sense of a "finder" here is a bit different. Don't you think?
How about using "recuperator" instead?
Welcome to Cucumis!

14 Mai 2012 05:40

aluji
Nombre de messages: 5
Hi, Aneta

Circumstare was the first verb that came to mind, but yes, I do like your choice of circumsedere much better.

"Vitae" is used idiomatically with "integer" (or "integri" in this case) to convey that this man is morally upright. (lit. "whole of life" -> righteous.) I learned this construction from Ode 1.22, and since I haven't seen it anywhere else it might be a bit obscure, but I think it's not too far-fetched.

And yes, I agree with you there, too. Recuperator is better.

Thank you for your insights. I look forward to being a part of this community.

14 Mai 2012 14:33

Aneta B.
Nombre de messages: 4487
Hi again!
"Integer vitae scelerisque purus" is a whole expression which means "(a man) of spotless life and free from all crime" (forgive me if my English is a bit weird, I'm not a native English speaker as you are). However, I think the expression is a bit too exaggerated in our case. Why not to use simply "vir integer" or "vir iustus"?

If you accept my suggestions, will you edit your translation, please?

I'm very glad you appreciated our Cucumis. We all love the site and we need a person like you, who's good at English and Latin in one go.
My best regards,
Aneta


14 Mai 2012 15:58

aluji
Nombre de messages: 5
Your English is better than you think! Yeah, you're probably right, including "vitae" is a bit unnecessary. Edited.

14 Mai 2012 19:12

Aneta B.
Nombre de messages: 4487
Great! I have set a poll now just to make sure if we are right indeed. People who know English and Latin can vote on your translation now.
Let's wait for more opinions.

Thanks for your kindness!