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Traduko - Turka-Angla - sil gözünün yalnızlıklarını

Nuna statoTraduko
Tiu teksto haveblas en la sekvaj lingvoj: TurkaAnglaHispana

Kategorio Kanto - Amo / Amikeco

Ĉi tiu tradukpeto estas "nur por signifo".
Titolo
sil gözünün yalnızlıklarını
Teksto
Submetigx per Blackrose
Font-lingvo: Turka

sil gözünün yalnızlıklarını
o an fısılda duvarlara adımı
bin bıçak var sırtımda
biniyle de adaşsın, herbiri hayran sana.

Titolo
love
Traduko
Angla

Tradukita per kfeto
Cel-lingvo: Angla

Wipe the loneliness from your eyes
and whisper my name to the walls.
There are a thousand knives on my back,
all of them carry your name but still all of them adore you.
Laste validigita aŭ redaktita de lilian canale - 7 Majo 2008 02:17





Lasta Afiŝo

Aŭtoro
Afiŝo

3 Majo 2008 15:57

nymph03
Nombro da afiŝoj: 8
wipe the loneliness of your eyes
.....
all of them carry your name, all of them adore you.

3 Majo 2008 21:26

sunsetter
Nombro da afiŝoj: 10
all of them değil each of them olmalı.

4 Majo 2008 21:09

merdogan
Nombro da afiŝoj: 3769
"one of them" can be better.

and adaÅŸ=namesake

5 Majo 2008 01:09

lilian canale
Nombro da afiŝoj: 14972
Hi kfeto,

This text sounds too "ornamented" in English.
Let me suggest a few changes to make it fine. OK?

"Wipe the lonely tears from your eyes"
I think what you mean is: "tears of loneliness"
so the line should read:
"Wipe the/those tears of loneliness from your eyes"

a stab is : a thrusting blow with a knife or other sharp pointed instrument, therefore the word "knife" is not necessary here.

"There are a thousand stabs on my back" would be enough.

And for the last line I think it could be just:
" they carry your name, still they adore you."

What do you think?
Does it still keep the original meaning?

Remember that it is a "meaning only" request.

6 Majo 2008 00:13

kfeto
Nombro da afiŝoj: 953
if it's fine by you, i'd rather leave it as is.

6 Majo 2008 00:42

lilian canale
Nombro da afiŝoj: 14972
Hi kfeto,

Actually, there are two things we must change.

1- lonely tears----> tears of loneliness (since lonely is not an apropriate adjective for "tears" )
Tears can be caused by loneliness, but they can't be "lonely".
2- knife stabs --------> stabs (since knife is not necessary and becomes quite redundant)

I hope you agree.

6 Majo 2008 01:21

turkishmiss
Nombro da afiŝoj: 2132
Hi Lilian,
You are right
"tears" and "stabs" are not in the orijinal

Sweep out the loneliness from your eyes
I'm not sure about the use of sweep up in english but in French "balaye" or "fais disparaître"
silmek
There are a thousand knives in my back

6 Majo 2008 19:24

kfeto
Nombro da afiŝoj: 953
hi lilian
if in the turkish one can poetically say 'wipe the loneliness from your eyes' then im sure poetically in english one can say 'lonely tears'
one can wipe loneliness from one's eyes as much as that tears can be lonely. figure of speech
either way i edited that and the knife

6 Majo 2008 19:39

lilian canale
Nombro da afiŝoj: 14972
Thanks kfeto.

I set a poll. Let's see what the other members think.

6 Majo 2008 23:13

gkyndgn
Nombro da afiŝoj: 1
Wipe the loneliness from your eyes
and whisper my name to the walls.
There are a thousand knifes on my back,
all of them carry your name and all of them adore you

7 Majo 2008 02:01

katranjyly
Nombro da afiŝoj: 102
1. BIÇAK means KNİFE not STAB.
2. why BUT STÄ°LL? there's only comma in the original.