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Dịch - Turkish-English - sil gözünün yalnızlıklarını

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Nhóm chuyên mục Song - Love / Friendship

This translation request is "Meaning only".
Title
sil gözünün yalnızlıklarını
Text
Submitted by Blackrose
Source language: Turkish

sil gözünün yalnızlıklarını
o an fısılda duvarlara adımı
bin bıçak var sırtımda
biniyle de adaşsın, herbiri hayran sana.

Title
love
Dịch
English

Translated by kfeto
Target language: English

Wipe the loneliness from your eyes
and whisper my name to the walls.
There are a thousand knives on my back,
all of them carry your name but still all of them adore you.
Validated by lilian canale - 7 Tháng 5 2008 02:17





Bài gửi sau cùng

Tác giả
Bài gửi

3 Tháng 5 2008 15:57

nymph03
Tổng số bài gửi: 8
wipe the loneliness of your eyes
.....
all of them carry your name, all of them adore you.

3 Tháng 5 2008 21:26

sunsetter
Tổng số bài gửi: 10
all of them değil each of them olmalı.

4 Tháng 5 2008 21:09

merdogan
Tổng số bài gửi: 3769
"one of them" can be better.

and adaÅŸ=namesake

5 Tháng 5 2008 01:09

lilian canale
Tổng số bài gửi: 14972
Hi kfeto,

This text sounds too "ornamented" in English.
Let me suggest a few changes to make it fine. OK?

"Wipe the lonely tears from your eyes"
I think what you mean is: "tears of loneliness"
so the line should read:
"Wipe the/those tears of loneliness from your eyes"

a stab is : a thrusting blow with a knife or other sharp pointed instrument, therefore the word "knife" is not necessary here.

"There are a thousand stabs on my back" would be enough.

And for the last line I think it could be just:
" they carry your name, still they adore you."

What do you think?
Does it still keep the original meaning?

Remember that it is a "meaning only" request.

6 Tháng 5 2008 00:13

kfeto
Tổng số bài gửi: 953
if it's fine by you, i'd rather leave it as is.

6 Tháng 5 2008 00:42

lilian canale
Tổng số bài gửi: 14972
Hi kfeto,

Actually, there are two things we must change.

1- lonely tears----> tears of loneliness (since lonely is not an apropriate adjective for "tears" )
Tears can be caused by loneliness, but they can't be "lonely".
2- knife stabs --------> stabs (since knife is not necessary and becomes quite redundant)

I hope you agree.

6 Tháng 5 2008 01:21

turkishmiss
Tổng số bài gửi: 2132
Hi Lilian,
You are right
"tears" and "stabs" are not in the orijinal

Sweep out the loneliness from your eyes
I'm not sure about the use of sweep up in english but in French "balaye" or "fais disparaître"
silmek
There are a thousand knives in my back

6 Tháng 5 2008 19:24

kfeto
Tổng số bài gửi: 953
hi lilian
if in the turkish one can poetically say 'wipe the loneliness from your eyes' then im sure poetically in english one can say 'lonely tears'
one can wipe loneliness from one's eyes as much as that tears can be lonely. figure of speech
either way i edited that and the knife

6 Tháng 5 2008 19:39

lilian canale
Tổng số bài gửi: 14972
Thanks kfeto.

I set a poll. Let's see what the other members think.

6 Tháng 5 2008 23:13

gkyndgn
Tổng số bài gửi: 1
Wipe the loneliness from your eyes
and whisper my name to the walls.
There are a thousand knifes on my back,
all of them carry your name and all of them adore you

7 Tháng 5 2008 02:01

katranjyly
Tổng số bài gửi: 102
1. BIÇAK means KNİFE not STAB.
2. why BUT STÄ°LL? there's only comma in the original.