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10Dịch - Hindi-English - मेरे टूटे हुए दिल से कोई तो आज ये पूछे ...

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Title
मेरे टूटे हुए दिल से कोई तो आज ये पूछे ...
Text
Submitted by buketnur
Source language: Hindi

मेरे टूटे हुए दिल से
कोई तो आज ये पूछे
के तेरा हाल क्या है

किस्मत तेरी रीत निराली
ओ चलिए को चलने वाली
फूल खिला तो टूटी ड़ाली

जिसे ऊलफत समझ बैठा
मेरी नज़रों का धोका था
किसी की क्या खता है

मांगी मुह्ब्बत पायी जुदाई
दुनिया मुझ को रास ना आई
पहले कदम पर ठोकर खाई

सदा आज़ाद रहते थे
हमें मालूम ही क्या था
मुहब्बत क्या बला है

Remarks about the translation
Before edit :

Mere toote huwe dil se
Koi to aaj yeh pooche
ke tera haal kya hai

Kismat teri reet nirali
O chaliye ko chalne wali
Phool khila to tooti daali

Jise ulfat samaj baitha
meri nazron ka dhoka tha
kisi ki kya khata hai

Mangi mohobat paayi judayi
duniya mujhko raas na aayi
pehle kadam par thokar khayi

sada aazad rehte the
hamain maloom hi kya tha
mohobat kya bala hai

(thanks to Coldbreeze who provided the version in devanagari)

Title
today someone please ask my broken heart.
Dịch
English

Translated by sneh
Target language: English

How I wished that today someone could ask the state of my broken heart.

The way destiny changes is fascinating,
it can even con a con man.
The branch broke when a flower blossomed.

What I understood as love was a misconception of my eyes.
It was no one's fault.

I asked for love and in return I got separation.
I don't like this world anymore.
On my first step towards love, I was betrayed.

I used to be single and so I never knew how destructive love was.

Remarks about the translation
(in the second paragraph the last two lines are metaphoric with the 1st statement of the paragraph)
Validated by lilian canale - 15 Tháng 4 2010 21:40





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Tác giả
Bài gửi

4 Tháng 3 2010 19:21

Coldbreeze16
Tổng số bài gửi: 236
A very good translation for a poetic text. 'wen' should be 'when' though

12 Tháng 3 2010 02:13

Tantine
Tổng số bài gửi: 2747
Hi sneh

A few edits, then we can evaluate your translation

"How I wish that today someone could ask the state of my broken heart.

The way destiny changes is fascinating,
it can even con a conman,
The branch broke when a flower blossomed.

What I understood as love was a misconception of my eyes,
It was no ones fault.

I asked for love and in return got separation,
I don't like this world any more,
On my first step towards love I was betrayed.

I always used to be single and so I never knew how destructive love was."

Let me know what you think

Bises
Tantine

12 Tháng 3 2010 07:13

Coldbreeze16
Tổng số bài gửi: 236
Sounds even better. You left one more capitalization on 3rd line though.

12 Tháng 3 2010 15:17

Tantine
Tổng số bài gửi: 2747
Hi Coldbreeze16

oops, I probably dealt with this one a bit late in the evening (actually early in the morning, 2 am!!)

Thanks,

Bises
Tantine

12 Tháng 3 2010 17:54

Coldbreeze16
Tổng số bài gửi: 236
You're welcome. And I know. I am an insomniac myself. lol

19 Tháng 3 2010 20:45

Tantine
Tổng số bài gửi: 2747
Hi sneh,

Could you please edit your tanslation, otherwise I will not be able to evaluate it.

Bises
Tantine