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Превод - Полски-Английски - Mewa

Текущо състояниеПревод
Този текст го има и на следните езици: ПолскиАнглийскиТурски

Категория Поезия - Любов / Приятелство

Заглавие
Mewa
Текст
Предоставено от ji2
Език, от който се превежда: Полски

Tęsknota nade mną szeleszcze.
Trąca mnie skrzydłem mewiem.
Czy wciąż ta sama jeszcze?
Nie wiem! nie wiem...
(Maria Pawlikowska-Jasnorzewska)

Заглавие
The seagull
Превод
Английски

Преведено от Olesniczanin
Желан език: Английски

Yearning swishes upon my head.
Touches me with a seagull's wing.
Is it still the same one?
I don't know! I don't know...
(Maria Pawlikowska-Jasnorzewska)
Забележки за превода
The original one consists rhymes in ABAB pattern.
За последен път се одобри от Tantine - 28 Януари 2008 21:23





Последно мнение

Автор
Мнение

25 Януари 2008 16:39

Tantine
Общо мнения: 2747
Hi Olesniczanin

Maybe "seagull" should be in one word?

I'm not sure about the choice of the word "swishes", which is a word I associate more with cloth, curtains, large twirling dresses or skirts, or with paint but not really with seagulls or yearning.

I've opened a poll because I don't speak any Polish at all

Bises
Tantine


26 Януари 2008 17:20

Olesniczanin
Общо мнения: 73
Hi Tantine,

thanks for your remarks.

According to wiki: "In common usage, members of various gull species are often referred to as sea gulls or seagulls." Anyway, "seagull" really might be smoother as I think it's more common than "sea gull".

As far as "swishes" is concerned, what would you suggest instead? "Rustles"? I picked "swishes" because it's connected with silk and makes a nice alliteration. What do you think?

Oleśniczanin.

26 Януари 2008 22:39

Tantine
Общо мнения: 2747
Hi

I like the word "swishes".

It makes me think of "swoop", "rustle",

We can keep it

bises
Tantine

27 Януари 2008 11:13

Olesniczanin
Общо мнения: 73
Hi Tantine,

"Seagull" is corrected, we keep "swishes" . Once again, thanks for your remarks.

Oleśniczanin.

28 Януари 2008 00:04

Tantine
Общо мнения: 2747
Hi Olesniczanin

I'll validate your text now

Enjoy your points

Bises
Tantine