Yearning swishes upon my head. Touches me with a seagull's wing. Is it still the same one? I don't know! I don't know... (Maria Pawlikowska-Jasnorzewska)
Maelezo kwa mfasiri
The original one consists rhymes in ABAB pattern.
Ilisahihishwa au kuhaririwa mwisho na Tantine - 28 Januari 2008 21:23
I'm not sure about the choice of the word "swishes", which is a word I associate more with cloth, curtains, large twirling dresses or skirts, or with paint but not really with seagulls or yearning.
I've opened a poll because I don't speak any Polish at all
According to wiki: "In common usage, members of various gull species are often referred to as sea gulls or seagulls." Anyway, "seagull" really might be smoother as I think it's more common than "sea gull".
As far as "swishes" is concerned, what would you suggest instead? "Rustles"? I picked "swishes" because it's connected with silk and makes a nice alliteration. What do you think?