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Translation - Esperanto-Engels - La viro estis starita sur la roko, kun mezaĝa...

Current statusTranslation
This text is available in the following languages: EsperantoEngels

Category Fiction / Story

Title
La viro estis starita sur la roko, kun mezaĝa...
Text
Submitted by alireza
Source language: Esperanto

La viro estis starita sur la roko, kun mezaĝa vizaĝo, ridetis, mi sentis varman manon sur mian ŝultron, mi revenis mian vizaĝon, virino kun longaj haroj, ŝia hararo malstreĉiĝis, lumoj kiuj reflektis de akvo, estis dancataj sur lia vizaĝo, lumo, varmego, la virino estis juna kaj ŝia korbo estis pli granda ol mia,
Remarks about the translation
American English

Title
The man was standing on the rock, with middle-aged...
Translation
Engels

Translated by ArenaL5
Target language: Engels

The man was standing on the rock, with a middle-aged face, he smiled, I felt a warm hand on my shoulder, I turned my face, a woman with long hair, her hair loose, lights which reflected on the water, were dancing on her face, light, such intense warmth, the woman was young and her basket was bigger than mine,...
Remarks about the translation
The translation is almost literal - that juxtaposed, fragmented sentences are unnatural in Esperanto too. Most likely this fragment was automatically translated from other non-European language.

"Malstreĉiĝis" means "unstretched" (verb), I translated it as "curled".

"Varmego" could either be "intense warmth" or "heat", I translated it as "such intense warmth"
Laaste geakkrediteerde redigering deur lilian canale - 8 July 2012 22:45





Last messages

Author
Message

24 June 2012 15:47

lilian canale
Number of messages: 14972
Hi Arenal,

I've made a few minor edits to look better in English.
I wonder, however if that "Malstreĉiĝis" could be translated as: "loose".

Before edits:


The man was standing on the rock, with middle-aged face, smiled, I felt a warm hand on my shoulder, I turned my face, a woman with long hairs, her hair curled, lights which reflected on the water, were dancing on his face, light, such intense warmth, the woman was young and her basket was bigger than mine,

25 June 2012 11:44

ArenaL5
Number of messages: 24
I only have one complaint: in "were dancing on her face", the original reads "lia". Lia means "his" and cannot be used for someone which we know is a woman.

I think "Malstreĉiĝis" can be translated that way. ("loosed", in any case)

Thank you for your interest, again. Could you replace a typo of mine in my translation note? "that yuxtaposed" should be "those juxtaposed".

25 June 2012 11:53

Francky5591
Number of messages: 12396
Hi ArenaL5

"Those juxtaposed, fragmented sentences..."

You're welcome!

25 June 2012 14:41

lilian canale
Number of messages: 14972
Hi Arenal,

As Alireza confirmed (He wrote: "this is a Persian/Farsi text in original and i translated it direct from Persian to Esperanto" ) the original may be faulty and "Lia" may be wrong. It seems to me that "her face" fits better and makes more sense in the context, don't you agree?
About "loose"...I suggested the adjective not the verb.
The typos are corrected.

27 June 2012 12:21

ArenaL5
Number of messages: 24
Thanks for the corrections, Francky5591 and lilian canale.

If Alireza himself said the original may be faulty, then I have no reason to complain hahaha. It would be good if he could check it so we can be sure.

Actually, it does make more sense in the way you say.

For "loose"... yeah, adjective "loose" looks more natural, please throw it in (checking again my translation, maybe it's even more exact than "curled".