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Translation - Serbian-English - Cuvam te, ne dam nikom da te dira na dlanu si...

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Title
Cuvam te, ne dam nikom da te dira na dlanu si...
Text
Submitted by Gil Ribeiro
Source language: Serbian

Cuvam te, ne dam
nikom da te dira
na dlanu si
moja tajna urezana

Cuvam te, gde god
krenem imam te
na dlanu si ti moja
linija zivota, ljubavi


Dobro znaj da
Remarks about the translation
Inglês EUA

Title
Watching over you...
Translation
English

Translated by NPazarka
Target language: English

I'm watching over you, I won't let
anyone else touch you
On the palm of my hand
You're my engraved secret

I'm watching over you, wherever,
I go, I've got you
On the palm of my hand
You're my lifeline, my love
Remarks about the translation
I'm watching over you, I won't let anyone else touch you
You're the engraved secret on the palm of my hand

I'm watching over you, wherever I go, I've got you
You're the lifeline on the palm of my hand, my love
Validated by lilian canale - 30 May 2008 03:06





Last messages

Author
Message

23 May 2008 00:01

lilian canale
Number of messages: 14972
Hi NPazarka,

It seems to be a poem, therefore I think we should keep the lines the way they are in the original.
Would you edit mantaining the length of the lines, please?

23 May 2008 00:10

Dren
Number of messages: 21
Lilian,

NPazarka did an excellent job. If you keep the length of lines the same translation might loose it's original meaning.

Cheers

23 May 2008 00:34

lilian canale
Number of messages: 14972
Sure, she did a great job!
However when translating poetry we have to make an effort in order to create a poem in the target language as well. Sometimes we need to change the original words to get some rhyme (if the original has it).
It's quite difficult getting a good translation from a word-by-word work.
What is important is keeping the meaning.
I don't think this translation would be "harmed" if we try to make it look like a poem.

My suggestion:

I'm watching over you,
nobody else will touch you
On the palm of my hand
You're my engraved secret

I'm watching over you,
wherever I go you are
On the palm of my hand
You're my lifeline.

my love


23 May 2008 00:35

lilian canale
Number of messages: 14972
Oops! forgot to cc you.

CC: Dren