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| | 25 Січня 2008 00:38 |
| guilonКількість повідомлень: 1549 | I support Tantine's version |
| | 25 Січня 2008 00:53 |
| LucilaКількість повідомлень: 105 | |
| | 25 Січня 2008 01:47 |
| | But Tantine's version seems to me like this guy is saying that the reason for him to leave the sea life is his wish for "remembering" something.
Is it right, Tantine?
Who gave up his life at sea
[in order] To remember, at home, bit by bit
One more time having problems with poetry.
[8] We don't translate poems. |
| | 25 Січня 2008 01:31 |
| lilutzКількість повідомлень: 63 | I agree with you, Casper:
"And remember it, little by little", and not "to remember it".
And I've noticed the word "job" as Lucila did. A job is more like an employment than a profession/occupation, right? I agree that "occupation" is better.
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| | 25 Січня 2008 07:12 |
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| | 25 Січня 2008 15:35 |
| | Hi All
About the choice of the word "job" rather than "employment", "occupation", "profession" (etc) is the fact that the word is short and "to the point.
This translation is under the category "poetry", so poetic licence is not only "permitted", it is often "necessary", so as not to turn a short poetry into an Icelandic Saga
So I not only accept Diego's choice of this word, I applaud it.
Casper - I needed to change the "to" into "and", so now I think it's telling the right story =>
If I've got this right, the literal translation (into French) of:
e que a vai relembrando pouco a pouco
em casa a passear, a passear
would be
"et qui (s'en) va, rémemorant, peu à peu, à la maison, pour marcher, pour marcher"
My heart is a crazy admiral
Who gave up his life at sea
And remembers, at home, bit by bit
Wandering, wandering
I think it is telling the sad story of someone who regrets having given up on a relationship.
Since s/he (the heart) is no longer the "admiral" of that wonderful boat called "A love story", s/he can only sit alone (at home) and ruminate his/her regrets.
But I might be wrong
Bises
Tantine
[9] At cucumis we love (Tantine loves) translating poetry but we cannot promise to make it rhyme (Tantine often does).
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| | 25 Січня 2008 20:05 |
| | I agree with Tantine's version
It's much better that way |
| | 25 Січня 2008 20:08 |
| | to take a walk não me parece correcto para "a passear" |
| | 25 Січня 2008 20:11 |
| | Nem a mim... parece estranho dizer isto, mas... parece que está demasiado dentro do contexto... |
| | 25 Січня 2008 20:14 |
| | Por isso mesmo "wandering, wandering" ficaria muito melhor. |
| | 26 Січня 2008 02:31 |
| | My heart is a crazy admiral
Who gave up his life at sea
and remembers it
little by little
wandering, wandering
at home. |
| | 26 Січня 2008 02:30 |
| | [9] At cucumis we love translating poetry but we cannot promise to make it rhyme... and catch the very sense of it.
I like your last version.
"...we cannot promise to make it rhyme" hahahaha |
| | 26 Січня 2008 16:42 |
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| | 26 Січня 2008 16:57 |
| | Zornitsa, could you speak english or maybe portuguese for us to understand you? Thanks |
| | 26 Січня 2008 21:36 |
| | I like lilian canales version! |
| | 26 Січня 2008 21:48 |
| | Lilians |
| | 26 Січня 2008 22:29 |
| | Lilian's version.
"life" conveys much sooooo much more
I will edit, then validate
Bises/beijos
Tantine |
| | 26 Січня 2008 22:34 |
| | Hi Lilian (in particular, anyone else in general)
I have edited this text using your (Lilian's) translation so, technically, Lilian should earn the points for this translation.
I will donate you the equivalent if you want
I'll validate now
Bises
Beijos
Tantine |
| | 26 Січня 2008 22:52 |
| | Hi Tantine:
I'm glad my version was so well accepted, but...
if the points are to be donated, I think that in order to be fair, they should be divided among the many who gave suggestions, including yourself, so don't worry...thanks anyway.
Bises
Lilly.
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| | 26 Січня 2008 23:51 |
| | I agree!
Lilian's verson
or
Tantine's version |