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翻译 - 土耳其语-英语 - iÅŸyeri sicil numarası ile Ä°zmir Caddesi No:31...

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işyeri sicil numarası ile İzmir Caddesi No:31...
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源语言: 土耳其语

123456789 işyeri sicil numarası ile İzmir Caddesi No:31 Ilıca Çeşme/İzmir adresindeki Gold Hotel unvanlı işyerimde 02.06.2006 tarihinden itibaren çalışmakta olup yurtdışına giderek yabancı dil eğitimi aldıktan sonra dönerek aynı işinde çalışacaktır.

标题
Working for Gold Hotel
翻译
英语

翻译 ToprakA
目的语言: 英语

He has been working for my business named Gold Hotel since June 2, 2006. He will be going abroad to seek foreign language education and upon his return he will work for the same business. Gold Hotel is located at İzmir Caddesi No:31 Ilıca Çeşme/İzmir and has 123456789 as its business registry number.
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Boyle bir uzun tunceyi bolerek cevirmek en iyisi. Amerikan ingilizcesinde uzun cumleler yeglenmemekte.
Chantal认可或编辑 - 2009年 八月 7日 21:23





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2009年 八月 3日 14:54

Chantal
文章总计: 878
I think you can rephrase it a little better as follows:

He has been working for my business, named the Gold Hotel, located at Izmir Caddesi No:31 Illica Cesme/Izmir and with registry number 123456789, since June 2, 2006. He will go aboad to receive foreign language education and upon his return will work for the same business.

2009年 八月 3日 21:04

merdogan
文章总计: 3769
I agree with Chantal.

2009年 八月 4日 00:16

ToprakA
文章总计: 36
Chantal's is OK.

However, writing experts advise not to use long sentences in English.

See here: http://www.mantex.co.uk/books/improv03.htm

"The over-long sentence

Long sentences should generally be avoided - unless you have very good control of grammar and syntax. This is a very common problem for beginners. Some people start out on their subject, add qualifying clauses, explanations, or digressions of some kind, then seem to forget where they have come from. Their sentences drift grammatically and usually become difficult to understand. "



Ahmet Toprak

2009年 八月 4日 14:43

tarantula9812739
文章总计: 13
The person - has badge number 123456789 and has been working date from 02.06.2006 for my business with the style name Gold Hoteland is adressed as İzmir Caddesi No:31 Ilıca Çeşme/İzmir - is going to continue to work at the same business after completing his/her foreign language training abroad.

2009年 八月 4日 16:23

ToprakA
文章总计: 36
Siz bunu Amerika'da bir $irkette yazarsaniz, hemen daha iyi ingilizce yazma kursuna gonderirler... Dilbilgisi olarak dogru olabilir ama boyle yazilmaz.

Ahmet Toprak

2009年 八月 4日 19:54

merdogan
文章总计: 3769
Sayın toprakA
Lütfen kimseye karşı bir şey söylemeyin. Sadece kendi fikrinizi yazın. Burada yarışma olmuyor. Gerisi uzmanlara ait.
Ayrıca görünen çiziminizi "erkek" olarak değiştirin.
Kolay gelsin.

2009年 八月 4日 20:14

Chantal
文章总计: 878
You're right ToprakA, sometimes it's better to use shorter sentences. But in your translation everything is in a completely different place.. And also, my sentence isn't thát long actually .

Thanks for your support merdogan, let's ask Handyy to have a look at it

CC: handyy

2009年 八月 4日 21:31

ToprakA
文章总计: 36
-- Merdogan: How do you change the icon?

-- Merdogan: Don't take my comments too seriously. You are free to write as you please, but there are consequences... I *was* sent to a "clear writing" seminar years ago (must have been early 1980's) by my first employer. It was really an eye opener. In my second company, I was tasked with evaluating the memos of my colleagues. *All* were native speakers, but they could not write!

-- Chantal: I still think yours is long. Best thing to do is to find similar correspondence and see how native speakers write. As for "everything is in a completely different place" in my version:
It does not matter as long as it is clear to the reader to the writer is conveying. Also, the nice thing about smaller sentences, you can rearrange them. Try rearranging my sentences to arrive at an ordering that you see as more appropriate.

Ahmet Toprak

2009年 八月 4日 21:38

Chantal
文章总计: 878
Yep, but I was also taught that 'he..' 'he...' isn't appropriate either .

More suitable by keeping your sentences in tact would then seem to me:

He has been working for my business named Gold Hotel since June 2, 2006 and will be going abroad to seek foreign language education. Upon his return he will work for the same business. Gold Hotel is located at İzmir Caddesi No:31 Ilıca Çeşme/İzmir and has 123456789 as its business registry number.

2009年 八月 4日 22:06

ToprakA
文章总计: 36
Yes, he and he does not sound that good. In an actual letter you would put a name in the first sentence:

Ahmet Toprak has been working for my business ... He will be going abroad ... etc.

I struggle with these types of translations every week for our radio programs' news.

Evey language has its idiosyncrasies. What may be OK in Turkish may be very awkward in English and vice versa.

However, if you are bilingual it is difficult to figure out what is correct sometimes. I have been speaking and writing English since 1966 and I still struggle from time to time in *both* languages...

Ahmet Toprak


2009年 八月 5日 09:30

lilian canale
文章总计: 14972
Hi Chantal,
I'm cancelling the poll I had set so that you can take care of this evaluation.

2009年 八月 5日 09:48

Chantal
文章总计: 878
ok I'm trying to take care of the Turkish translations, but sometimes it takes quite a lot of time to go through them

Ahmet, what about my suggestion then? Better or..?

2009年 八月 5日 09:57

lilian canale
文章总计: 14972
I know what you mean...
I'll appreciate your help with those translations from Turkish

teşekkür ederim

2009年 八月 5日 12:10

handyy
文章总计: 2118
Hi everybody

Chantal, I'd prefer your version... but the first one:


He has been working for my business, named the Gold Hotel, located at Izmir Caddesi No:31 Illica Cesme/Izmir and with registry number 123456789, since June 2, 2006. He will go abroad to receive foreign language education and upon his return will work for the same business.


It is obvious that this is a formal writing, not a daily/informal one. So, it could be a bit complicated or long, I think. (I don't think Chantal's first translation is too long, though.)

2009年 八月 5日 12:14

Chantal
文章总计: 878
Yes I thought the same, because now they are really short sentences, and it looks a little.. unprofessional maybe? No offence Ahmet Toprak, I hope you understand what I mean..