Umseting - Turkiskt-Enskt - işyeri sicil numarası ile İzmir Caddesi No:31...

I think you can rephrase it a little better as follows:

He has been working for my business, named the Gold Hotel, located at Izmir Caddesi No:31 Illica Cesme/Izmir and with registry number 123456789, since June 2, 2006. He will go aboad to receive foreign language education and upon his return will work for the same business.

I agree with Chantal.

Chantal's is OK.

However, writing experts advise not to use long sentences in English.

See here: http://www.mantex.co.uk/books/improv03.htm

"The over-long sentence

Long sentences should generally be avoided - unless you have very good control of grammar and syntax. This is a very common problem for beginners. Some people start out on their subject, add qualifying clauses, explanations, or digressions of some kind, then seem to forget where they have come from. Their sentences drift grammatically and usually become difficult to understand. "



Ahmet Toprak

The person - has badge number 123456789 and has been working date from 02.06.2006 for my business with the style name Gold Hoteland is adressed as İzmir Caddesi No:31 Ilıca Çeşme/İzmir - is going to continue to work at the same business after completing his/her foreign language training abroad.

Siz bunu Amerika'da bir $irkette yazarsaniz, hemen daha iyi ingilizce yazma kursuna gonderirler... Dilbilgisi olarak dogru olabilir ama boyle yazilmaz.

Ahmet Toprak

Sayın toprakA
Lütfen kimseye karşı bir şey söylemeyin. Sadece kendi fikrinizi yazın. Burada yarışma olmuyor. Gerisi uzmanlara ait.
Ayrıca görünen çiziminizi "erkek" olarak değiştirin.
Kolay gelsin.

You're right ToprakA, sometimes it's better to use shorter sentences. But in your translation everything is in a completely different place.. And also, my sentence isn't thát long actually .

Thanks for your support merdogan, let's ask Handyy to have a look at it

CC: handyy

-- Merdogan: How do you change the icon?

-- Merdogan: Don't take my comments too seriously. You are free to write as you please, but there are consequences... I *was* sent to a "clear writing" seminar years ago (must have been early 1980's) by my first employer. It was really an eye opener. In my second company, I was tasked with evaluating the memos of my colleagues. *All* were native speakers, but they could not write!

-- Chantal: I still think yours is long. Best thing to do is to find similar correspondence and see how native speakers write. As for "everything is in a completely different place" in my version:
It does not matter as long as it is clear to the reader to the writer is conveying. Also, the nice thing about smaller sentences, you can rearrange them. Try rearranging my sentences to arrive at an ordering that you see as more appropriate.

Ahmet Toprak

Yep, but I was also taught that 'he..' 'he...' isn't appropriate either .

More suitable by keeping your sentences in tact would then seem to me:

He has been working for my business named Gold Hotel since June 2, 2006 and will be going abroad to seek foreign language education. Upon his return he will work for the same business. Gold Hotel is located at İzmir Caddesi No:31 Ilıca Çeşme/İzmir and has 123456789 as its business registry number.

Yes, he and he does not sound that good. In an actual letter you would put a name in the first sentence:

Ahmet Toprak has been working for my business ... He will be going abroad ... etc.

I struggle with these types of translations every week for our radio programs' news.

Evey language has its idiosyncrasies. What may be OK in Turkish may be very awkward in English and vice versa.

However, if you are bilingual it is difficult to figure out what is correct sometimes. I have been speaking and writing English since 1966 and I still struggle from time to time in *both* languages...

Ahmet Toprak

Hi Chantal,
I'm cancelling the poll I had set so that you can take care of this evaluation.

ok I'm trying to take care of the Turkish translations, but sometimes it takes quite a lot of time to go through them

Ahmet, what about my suggestion then? Better or..?

I know what you mean...
I'll appreciate your help with those translations from Turkish

teşekkür ederim

Hi everybody

Chantal, I'd prefer your version... but the first one:


He has been working for my business, named the Gold Hotel, located at Izmir Caddesi No:31 Illica Cesme/Izmir and with registry number 123456789, since June 2, 2006. He will go abroad to receive foreign language education and upon his return will work for the same business.


It is obvious that this is a formal writing, not a daily/informal one. So, it could be a bit complicated or long, I think. (I don't think Chantal's first translation is too long, though.)

Yes I thought the same, because now they are really short sentences, and it looks a little.. unprofessional maybe? No offence Ahmet Toprak, I hope you understand what I mean..