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Traduction - Turc-Anglais - işyeri sicil numarası ile İzmir Caddesi No:31...

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Titre
işyeri sicil numarası ile İzmir Caddesi No:31...
Texte
Proposé par mustytime
Langue de départ: Turc

123456789 işyeri sicil numarası ile İzmir Caddesi No:31 Ilıca Çeşme/İzmir adresindeki Gold Hotel unvanlı işyerimde 02.06.2006 tarihinden itibaren çalışmakta olup yurtdışına giderek yabancı dil eğitimi aldıktan sonra dönerek aynı işinde çalışacaktır.

Titre
Working for Gold Hotel
Traduction
Anglais

Traduit par ToprakA
Langue d'arrivée: Anglais

He has been working for my business named Gold Hotel since June 2, 2006. He will be going abroad to seek foreign language education and upon his return he will work for the same business. Gold Hotel is located at İzmir Caddesi No:31 Ilıca Çeşme/İzmir and has 123456789 as its business registry number.
Commentaires pour la traduction
Boyle bir uzun tunceyi bolerek cevirmek en iyisi. Amerikan ingilizcesinde uzun cumleler yeglenmemekte.
Dernière édition ou validation par Chantal - 7 Août 2009 21:23





Derniers messages

Auteur
Message

3 Août 2009 14:54

Chantal
Nombre de messages: 878
I think you can rephrase it a little better as follows:

He has been working for my business, named the Gold Hotel, located at Izmir Caddesi No:31 Illica Cesme/Izmir and with registry number 123456789, since June 2, 2006. He will go aboad to receive foreign language education and upon his return will work for the same business.

3 Août 2009 21:04

merdogan
Nombre de messages: 3769
I agree with Chantal.

4 Août 2009 00:16

ToprakA
Nombre de messages: 36
Chantal's is OK.

However, writing experts advise not to use long sentences in English.

See here: http://www.mantex.co.uk/books/improv03.htm

"The over-long sentence

Long sentences should generally be avoided - unless you have very good control of grammar and syntax. This is a very common problem for beginners. Some people start out on their subject, add qualifying clauses, explanations, or digressions of some kind, then seem to forget where they have come from. Their sentences drift grammatically and usually become difficult to understand. "



Ahmet Toprak

4 Août 2009 14:43

tarantula9812739
Nombre de messages: 13
The person - has badge number 123456789 and has been working date from 02.06.2006 for my business with the style name Gold Hoteland is adressed as İzmir Caddesi No:31 Ilıca Çeşme/İzmir - is going to continue to work at the same business after completing his/her foreign language training abroad.

4 Août 2009 16:23

ToprakA
Nombre de messages: 36
Siz bunu Amerika'da bir $irkette yazarsaniz, hemen daha iyi ingilizce yazma kursuna gonderirler... Dilbilgisi olarak dogru olabilir ama boyle yazilmaz.

Ahmet Toprak

4 Août 2009 19:54

merdogan
Nombre de messages: 3769
Sayın toprakA
Lütfen kimseye karşı bir şey söylemeyin. Sadece kendi fikrinizi yazın. Burada yarışma olmuyor. Gerisi uzmanlara ait.
Ayrıca görünen çiziminizi "erkek" olarak değiştirin.
Kolay gelsin.

4 Août 2009 20:14

Chantal
Nombre de messages: 878
You're right ToprakA, sometimes it's better to use shorter sentences. But in your translation everything is in a completely different place.. And also, my sentence isn't thát long actually .

Thanks for your support merdogan, let's ask Handyy to have a look at it

CC: handyy

4 Août 2009 21:31

ToprakA
Nombre de messages: 36
-- Merdogan: How do you change the icon?

-- Merdogan: Don't take my comments too seriously. You are free to write as you please, but there are consequences... I *was* sent to a "clear writing" seminar years ago (must have been early 1980's) by my first employer. It was really an eye opener. In my second company, I was tasked with evaluating the memos of my colleagues. *All* were native speakers, but they could not write!

-- Chantal: I still think yours is long. Best thing to do is to find similar correspondence and see how native speakers write. As for "everything is in a completely different place" in my version:
It does not matter as long as it is clear to the reader to the writer is conveying. Also, the nice thing about smaller sentences, you can rearrange them. Try rearranging my sentences to arrive at an ordering that you see as more appropriate.

Ahmet Toprak

4 Août 2009 21:38

Chantal
Nombre de messages: 878
Yep, but I was also taught that 'he..' 'he...' isn't appropriate either .

More suitable by keeping your sentences in tact would then seem to me:

He has been working for my business named Gold Hotel since June 2, 2006 and will be going abroad to seek foreign language education. Upon his return he will work for the same business. Gold Hotel is located at İzmir Caddesi No:31 Ilıca Çeşme/İzmir and has 123456789 as its business registry number.

4 Août 2009 22:06

ToprakA
Nombre de messages: 36
Yes, he and he does not sound that good. In an actual letter you would put a name in the first sentence:

Ahmet Toprak has been working for my business ... He will be going abroad ... etc.

I struggle with these types of translations every week for our radio programs' news.

Evey language has its idiosyncrasies. What may be OK in Turkish may be very awkward in English and vice versa.

However, if you are bilingual it is difficult to figure out what is correct sometimes. I have been speaking and writing English since 1966 and I still struggle from time to time in *both* languages...

Ahmet Toprak


5 Août 2009 09:30

lilian canale
Nombre de messages: 14972
Hi Chantal,
I'm cancelling the poll I had set so that you can take care of this evaluation.

5 Août 2009 09:48

Chantal
Nombre de messages: 878
ok I'm trying to take care of the Turkish translations, but sometimes it takes quite a lot of time to go through them

Ahmet, what about my suggestion then? Better or..?

5 Août 2009 09:57

lilian canale
Nombre de messages: 14972
I know what you mean...
I'll appreciate your help with those translations from Turkish

teşekkür ederim

5 Août 2009 12:10

handyy
Nombre de messages: 2118
Hi everybody

Chantal, I'd prefer your version... but the first one:


He has been working for my business, named the Gold Hotel, located at Izmir Caddesi No:31 Illica Cesme/Izmir and with registry number 123456789, since June 2, 2006. He will go abroad to receive foreign language education and upon his return will work for the same business.


It is obvious that this is a formal writing, not a daily/informal one. So, it could be a bit complicated or long, I think. (I don't think Chantal's first translation is too long, though.)

5 Août 2009 12:14

Chantal
Nombre de messages: 878
Yes I thought the same, because now they are really short sentences, and it looks a little.. unprofessional maybe? No offence Ahmet Toprak, I hope you understand what I mean..