Översättning - Polska-Engelska - Pragnienie

It looks so similar to the original in its style.. I really expect the alliteration...

But I have some little remarks:

Pragnienie by zrozumieć siebie
--> "Desire to understand each other", but I meant there rather:
"Desire to understand myself" (I know Polish word "siebie" is ambiguos and it really wasn't so obvious and you could think sth else).

I trwać ze sobą na wieki wieków. Amen
-->"And take us with you for ever and ever. Amen."
Hm, I'm wondering if we can change so much the sentence... Litterally it means:
"and last together for ever and ever. Amen"


Anyway, thank you for the translation, Alexander!

I think you did it again Aneta...
Is tanty's name "Alexander"?

It's hard to keep up with the translators, Lilly!
I apologize, tanty...
Thank you for a translation!

But, do you know Polish, tanty. You have not got it in your preferences...

"Desire to last forever touch" ?

Is it correct?
I would say rather:

"Desire the touch would last"...

But I can be wrong, of course.

Here's my version:

Desire

Desire to stop the time
Desire to be able to laugh
Desire to be at peace with God
Desire to understand myself
Desire to have a touch last for ever
Desire to get deeply connected
And the desire to die together
And to stay with each other for ages of ages. Amen.

It is perfect now according to me, Alexander!
Thank you!

If I'm not mistaking about this text, there is not one single conjugated verb in it, is it? (only infinitives)

So in a way, it is breaking our rule 4

I'm not intending to remove it, just posting a remark.

You are right, Franck. Didn't notice when I translated it.

CC: Francky5591

Ooops! I didn't notice when I submitted the text! I'm sorry.

We can always adapt it to our rules addding a verb to it. I propose to put into the first line:

Polish: "Jest pragnienie by zatrzymać czas"

English: "There is a desire to stop time"

What do you think, Francky?

CC: Francky5591

Hi!

No, we won't change it, as sometimes there are some possible exceptions to this rule, and IMO it is one of them.

This is why I said "in a way"

So, thank you!
Yes, poems shouldn't be changed. Copyright! Hehehe!

@Francky et al.:

There are in fact two conjugated verbs here, at least in the English translation (one subjunctive ("last" ) and one participle ("connected" ))

I'm sorry, I don't get your point, dear Lev. What do you mean? I still can't see any CONJUGATED verb in my poem nor in its English version.

Anyone who can explain the meaning of "Desire to have a touch last forever"? I'm sorry, I don't get it but I need it to evaluate the translation into Italian...

"[El] Deseo de tener un contacto que dure para siempre/que perdure (?)"