ترجمة - فرنسي-انجليزي - Voici le temps partagé de nos ...

Need some assistance with "temps partagé", in fact I was about to edit it in English as "shared time" but I am not sure, maybe Francky or another native French speaker could help. The difference between time divided and shared time is almost opposite, so I don't want to get this wrong. After reviewing use of the term, I think it is in fact "shared time".

charl could tell you what he thinks about "temps partagé". Qu'en penses-tu charl? Moi aussi j'hésiterais entre ces deux significations (divided/shared) Peux-tu nous aider?
Merci!

I've seen other translation for the same text and it seemed to me more accurate. The relation of prepositions is compromised.

Hi Ian, could you help me evaluate this text. It sounds a bit weird to me

CC: IanMegill2

English does not accept "poetic prose" in the way French does, and English readers expect more clarity and less "beauty" than French readers do. (I suspect even the writer of this text may not really know what s/he means exactly: it is a "poetic" text with the interpretation left up to the reader in many places. There is no such thing, for example, as "une goutte d'air" in French!)
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I suppose the best way to make this text at all "acceptable" to English readers is to put it in strophed format, i.e.:

Now is the shared time of our final riches,
With each birth
Liberty
A drop of water thirsting for a river,
With each birth
Equality
A drop of sweat, exhausted from suffering,
With each birth
Fraternity
A drop of air dirtied by deserts.
Now is the time
Exorcised from our planetary
Reasons,
A time which is now connected to a capital
Earth
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This "poem shape" also has the benefit of visually highlighting the "Liberty, Equality, Fraternity" references...
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That said, I'm going to go ahead and validate this translation as it stands now, because a "poetic" text could be translated in many ways...
I notice Itsatrap100's translation is slightly "interpretive." For example, he adds prepositions to the text, which introduce connections which are not (explicitly) in the original, and may not have been intended by its author.
On the other hand, English native speakers expect more logical coherence between different elements of each sentence, and so we have a tendency to "read in" such connections where perhaps none exist...

What a thoughtful response by Ian Megill, in fact my last edit was to change "time divided" to "shared time", as I couldn't find the expression temps partagé in 3 dictionaries but only on-line, but the evaluation lock came on just as I was about to modify the text.

Thanks Ian, I knew you would find a solution

Hi itsatrap,

Would you like me to change that to "shared time" for you? It's still possible, if you'd like.

CC: itsatrap100

Yes Ian, "shared age" I believe is what I had used in the text. On 2nd thought "shared time" is better.

Merci

Done.

As we say in Quebec, Bienvenue! (We use it to mean not only "welcome," but "you're welcome," too!)