번역 - 영어-간이화된 중국어 - Onward to the trees, citizens!

A few mistaken interpretation..
1. "Flows into the mountains" is not 人群涌进了深山. We are talking about the cement, not people.

2. "To strut our stuff" meant to "show off". The original French text was "to make beautiful". It's about 炫耀, not 坚持

3. "Buying air in blocks" is not 在楼厦间购买空气 . It means buying packaged air.

4. "Onward to the trees, citizens!" came from the French text "to the trees", which was a play on the French anthem "To the arms", which meant to "take up arms". So it does not mean marching into the forest. It means "embracing nature".

5. "Some slaps we are due; The watch is for tomorrow; Some slaps due in return " is not translated at all. I can accept you creating new verses, but can you explain "时钟以全新的明天为准"? I understand it to be "The clock used the new tomorrow as basis". Huh?


This is a complex translation. You have to look at the discussion that went on for the English text.

thank you for discussion.
here is my understanding:
1. 人群将一些非自然的东西带入深山,"现代人硬塞给了自然"
2.上下文意思是历经磨难,仍然以我们的东西为荣,仍要坚持.
3.工业化的社会,纯净的空气都成了奢侈品."楼厦间购买昂贵的呼吸"
4.这个句子应该根据典故或者来源翻译.请指正.
5.这句比较难译,大意是指"新生活从明天开始" 吧

Poem translation always needs our complete understanding and careful transmission of the meaning into mother language. Personally I find theme of this one is encouragin, but the sentences are hard to organize. Just took a try. thanks for your comments. Any more suggestions are warmly welcomed.

Hi greatguy, It is indeed a difficult piece. And I think you have done a good job of it. Though there are parts where I disagree.

Here is my attempt at interpreting "Some slaps we are due; The watch is for tomorrow; Some slaps due in return". I believe it means the past owe us something so we are justified to want to punish them(Some slaps we are due). And so "Some slaps due in return" would in turn mean that we owe our children something and we should be slapped for that.

This is such an interesting piece, I couldn't resist trying to translate it myself. As my Chinese is not as good as my English, I hope you can give me your comments about my attempt.

Here goes...

洋灰覆盖遍野
流入山丘之间
剧毒侵入水泉
充斥泛滥乡间

狂风暴雨之中
历史变得沉痛
唯一信念不变
炫耀美丽容颜

氧气瓶中寻觅
等价交换原理
石油美金换取
众人生存权利

赤道直至两极
我们只是暂居
肩上重任何时
才能不再扛起

世事必须改变
环保千秋大业
现在开始创建
明日美丽蓝天

环保千秋大业
昨日亏欠今天
希望寄于明天
弥补所有缺陷

似诗魔之春草
野火燃烧不尽
不再委曲求全
齐心努力向前

只知地球体圆
是否也都知道
这是唯一家园
子孙们的家园

对错不再重要
别再互相计较
一同并肩作战
愿望必能达到

By the way, if it can help, you can view the clip on the official website (clik on "Passer l'intro" and then on "Aux arbres citoyens" or a direct link on http://www.mcm.net/musique/player/27831/

都很好.