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| | 2008年 सेप्टेम्बर 1日 21:37 |
| | Hi feroz (Wow! your nick means "fierce" in Spanish)
I'm puzzled by the end of some sentences: "said each"
Before those "can't" we need a subject in English
"Why You are not here?" that should read: "Why aren't you here?"
And I think "...when you leave me do only that"
would be better if : "when you leave me just do it"
What do you think? |
| | 2008年 सेप्टेम्बर 2日 07:20 |
| | 1. "Said each" means every paper boat, every kite
2. "Why aren't you here?" - I agree with you
3. "Do only that" in contexts of the poem means leave me in such way that I still be thinking you are here while " just do it" says just leave me.
Btw, FEROZ is name of my blackberry wine. I pick up the word from Spanish dictionary under word "sangre"(blood) and means something like "thirsty of blood".
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| | 2008年 सेप्टेम्बर 3日 01:36 |
| | OK feroz, let me see if I got it.
"You let paper boats down the river, they say.
"Waiting for you and you are not there" each replied.
I can't go on without you, I can't breathe, I can't laugh, I can't love.
You let kites fly high, they say.
"Why aren't you here? each said.
When you leave me don't make me realize that, when you leave me do it that way."
Does this convey the meaning?
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| | 2008年 सेप्टेम्बर 2日 14:51 |
| | Yes Lilian, you make it right.
Now the translation looks accurate.
Thank you. |
| | 2008年 सेप्टेम्बर 2日 23:35 |
| | Text should be "is written on each of them" instead of "each replied" or "each said". Also, "breathe" instead of "breath" |
| | 2008年 सेप्टेम्बर 3日 01:42 |
| | Oh...so those are messages written on the paper boats or kites.
Hum...that changes things a little.
Do you agree feroz? |
| | 2008年 सेप्टेम्बर 3日 07:18 |
| | "is written on each of them" is literally translation, but I think "each replied" and "each said" is shorter and sounds better in the poem and meaning is the same.
"breathe" or "breath" - I checked in dictionary, both is correct. |
| | 2008年 सेप्टेम्बर 3日 10:40 |
| | thank you for translation,it's ok...bye bye .. |
| | 2008年 सेप्टेम्बर 4日 14:07 |
| | Hi feroz,
The problem is that the meaning changes. We can choose shorter forms for a sentence if it reflects exactly what the original means, however in this case I think that it would not be clear that the sentence is "written" on a paper boat if we don't say so.
For the words "breath" (noun) or "breathe" (verb), both exist, but in this case we need the verb. |
| | 2008年 सेप्टेम्बर 3日 13:01 |
| | I agree, specially because request was for meaning. |