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Translation - French-English - Mon géniteur. La tête se déchire Le cœur cogne ...

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This translation request is "Meaning only".
Title
Mon géniteur. La tête se déchire Le cœur cogne ...
Text
Submitted by gamine
Source language: French

Mon géniteur.


La tête se déchire
Le cœur cogne
Tu as sans vergogne
pris ma liberté.

Tu fus mon père
Tu es parti
mais la douleur reste encore
me privant, à jamais, de ma sérénité.

J'étais un enfant
sans défense
L'enfant a grandit
sans avoir comprit

Tu m'as imploré mon pardon
que je ne pouvais te donner
Tu es parti sans,
et moi, je reste,
les ailes brisées à jamais.

Tu es parti
sans que j'ai pu te dire
que le père que tu fus avant
me manque et que je l'aime

Maintenant les larmes peuvent enfin couler.
Remarks about the translation
I would like if Lilian would accept to translate these words for me, although she is overworked,
but I'm not in a hurry.

Title
My genitor
Translation
English

Translated by lilian canale
Target language: English

My genitor.

The head tears
The heart pounds
You have, shamelessly
taken my freedom.

You were my father
You are gone
but the pain still remains
depriving me, forever, of my serenity.

I was a child
defenseless
The child has grown up
unable to understand

You've begged my pardon
which I couldn't give you
You left without,
and I remain,
wings broken forever.

You're gone
and I could not tell you
that I miss the father you were before
and that I love him

Now the tears can finally flow
Validated by Bamsa - 29 September 2009 08:39





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28 September 2009 01:01

lilian canale
จำนวนข้อความ: 14972
I hope you are not disappointed, Lene
I did my best.

28 September 2009 01:09

gamine
จำนวนข้อความ: 4611
My dear Lilian. Thanks soooo much. I didn't expected it to be translated as fast and and really
you got all of it. No use for a poll. I accept it right away and don't want someone to say this or that about the translation. You've caught what I had to say and described what I feel. Thanks again, so much to you, my sensitive expert.

28 September 2009 01:13

lilian canale
จำนวนข้อความ: 14972
Oh, thanks, dear Lene. I'm glad you liked my version, I didn't try to get any rhyme since deep feelings don't need to rhyme, just to be honestly expressed.
That's a beautiful poem.

28 September 2009 01:28

gamine
จำนวนข้อความ: 4611
As you say. No use for rhyme. Anyway I'm not good at that but you expressed my feelings and that was what I needed. Thanks again, Lilian and now allow you some some rest, now you have translated my request. Joking. Now I'll go to bed . Enjoy your evening. And thanks for your big heart.

28 September 2009 09:12

Burduf
จำนวนข้อความ: 238
Fine, but excuse me, isn't possible to translate "géniteur" into english.

Il y a là comme un sens second, à ne pas vouloir dire "mon père" comme pour lui dénier ce rôle

Bonne semaine à toutes et tous

28 September 2009 15:17

gamine
จำนวนข้อความ: 4611
Yes, Burduff, of course you're right, but it just that I didn't want to discuss this translation too
much, and I really find Lilian's translation perfect. But of course we could translate this word "géniteur" into English, perhaps "procreator".
Can you do it, Lilian, please. And thanks again.

CC: Burduf

28 September 2009 15:40

Aneta B.
จำนวนข้อความ: 4487
Beautiful poem and excellent translation! I was moved so much...

28 September 2009 15:48

gamine
จำนวนข้อความ: 4611
Thanks little one. And as you say: excellent
translation.

28 September 2009 16:11

lilian canale
จำนวนข้อความ: 14972
Actually I was in doubt about whether I should translate "géniteur" as "genitor", which even being the scientific noun for parent, it establishes a distance, a lack of affection in the relationship.
If that is what you meant, Lene, I'll edit.

28 September 2009 23:14

gamine
จำนวนข้อความ: 4611
Well, it's quite funny, Lilian, because I didn't know it myself, before Burduff spoke about it, and I realised that, actually, he was right. So, yes, please, if you could correct it to genitor it would be fine. And one more time, thanks so much, dear Lilian.

CC: Burduf