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Translation - Polish-English - Szlifowanie

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กลุ่ม Poetry - Exploration / Adventure

Title
Szlifowanie
Text
Submitted by Aneta B.
Source language: Polish

Dawna skorupa
dawno opuszczona
Dziś w ostrym słońcu
odbijam promienie
emocjami ...

spalam się - w ogniu - wciąż mięknę -
... Raz srebro - raz złoto ...
Doświadczenie przygodne
... Raz złe – raz dobre ....

diamentowe szlifowanie
brylanciane podziwianie

nie ma piękna bez bólu ...
Remarks about the translation
British English

Title
Grinding
Translation
English

Translated by iluvmilka
Target language: English

Grinding

An old shell
long ago abandoned
Today in the bright Sun
I reflect the rays with
My emotions

Burning, on fire, constantly softening
Turning from silver to gold
A casual experience
Up and down

Diamond grinding
Brilliant wonder

There’s no beauty without pain
Remarks about the translation
The second stanza (paragraph) was very difficult to translate so it might be not as clear as it is in polish
Validated by lilian canale - 21 October 2009 13:26





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16 October 2009 00:17

Aneta B.
จำนวนข้อความ: 4487
Beautiful translation! Thank you, dear one!

16 October 2009 10:06

iluvmilka
จำนวนข้อความ: 77
You're welcome

16 October 2009 19:26

Aneta B.
จำนวนข้อความ: 4487
Dawna skorupa
dawno opuszczona

You traslated:
An old crust
long deserted

and you were not sure about it...

Well, it literally means: The old/former crust was left a long time ago...

Maybe experts can help here, Ania...

p.s. Thank yoy for translating also the title. I'm stil forgeting to put the titles into a translation field...

16 October 2009 22:41

iluvmilka
จำนวนข้อความ: 77
No, i got the first stanza but i didnt the second one : spalam się - w ogniu - wciąż mięknę -
... Raz srebro - raz złoto ...
Doświadczenie przygodne
... Raz złe – raz dobre ....

I get it but it was very difficult to translate

16 October 2009 22:54

Aneta B.
จำนวนข้อความ: 4487
I can't underatand your "no", Ania... ?

... Raz srebro - raz złoto ...
Doświadczenie przygodne
... Raz złe – raz dobre ....

Litterally:

...Once (the)silver - once (the)gold [is appearing]
Accidental experience
... once good - once bad [one]


17 October 2009 12:21

iluvmilka
จำนวนข้อความ: 77
Aneta, you are absolutelty right but that is a literal translations and i dont think it has any meaning in english

17 October 2009 12:49

Aneta B.
จำนวนข้อความ: 4487
Yes, I know. This is why we should wait for experts as always...
Take it easy Ania. If you have any other suggestions, don't hesitate to express them here... You probably have noticed I also don't hesitate to discuss... It is needed to improve the translations.
Moreover "Co dwie głowy to nie jedna"

17 October 2009 15:49

lilian canale
จำนวนข้อความ: 14972
Hi girls

I'll work on this one to help you, but I don't think there will be much to do. It looks fine to me.
Perhaps the beginning could be:
"An old crust (shell?)
long ago abandoned..."

And this part:

"Burning, on fire, constantly softening
Turning from silver into gold..."


17 October 2009 19:30

iluvmilka
จำนวนข้อความ: 77
Ok, i've changed "burning, on fire ...". Obviously 'long ago abandonded" sounds right too ... what do you think Aneta? It's up to you

17 October 2009 22:40

Aneta B.
จำนวนข้อความ: 4487
Yes, of course, it can be shell instaed of crust... I would choose this more pejorative one, but I don't now which it is...hehe

"long ago abandonded"
"burning, of fire..."
- all sound great! Thanks, girls!
I'm so grateful for your work on my "poems"...

17 October 2009 22:36

lilian canale
จำนวนข้อความ: 14972
OK then, Ania if you make these edits we can set a poll. I think it looks and sounds good.

17 October 2009 23:00

iluvmilka
จำนวนข้อความ: 77
Done

17 October 2009 23:09

lilian canale
จำนวนข้อความ: 14972
To the poll!

17 October 2009 23:13

lilian canale
จำนวนข้อความ: 14972
Oh, if you want something stronger instead of shell/crust , what about "carcass"?

17 October 2009 23:18

iluvmilka
จำนวนข้อความ: 77
I didn't know that word ... well, it is strong but i don't think it has the same meaning. What do you think Aneta? In my dictionary it says that caracas is "padlina, ścierwo albo zwłoki zwierząt". It's not what you meant, is it?

17 October 2009 23:21

lilian canale
จำนวนข้อความ: 14972
carcass is used figuratively as: something lifeless, empty

17 October 2009 23:33

Aneta B.
จำนวนข้อความ: 4487
Well, I meant about sth like "shell", "crust", "box" or even "prison"... It was to be a symbol of my depression - state of mind when we are closed in ourselves...

I wrote it just after the state had passed by...

17 October 2009 23:29

lilian canale
จำนวนข้อความ: 14972
Oh, well, then I guess 'shell' is fine

17 October 2009 23:32

Aneta B.
จำนวนข้อความ: 4487
Yes, I guess it is the best equivalent of Polish "skorupa"...