Translation - Hebrew-English - שלום, ברצוני להודות על ההזמנדות שניתנה לי להמשיך...

Hi libera,

This looks great, however I'd just check a couple of details:

1 - "...my lifelong wish had (has? ) been to complete (obtain? ) an academic degree"

2 - "...which will allow me to give (come? ) back to the community with better knowledge.."

1. correction is fine, same meaning, although i'm not sure if the writer doesn't specifically use "complete" deliberately(we can ask her, if it matters)
2. the writer says she would like to "give back" to the community, hence 'come' would be the wrong word.

Please, ask her about that.
About #2, 'give back' needs an object (give back what? )

well, she's using "giving back" in the sense of contributing her new skills and knowledge to the community. I don't know if that's formal usage but it's very common these days. I just googled "give back to the community" (without an object) and got 38M results (and that's without 'giving back', just 'give back'). You can change it to something else if you feel the need, as long as it means that she will be able to contribute her new skills and knowledge to the community.
Re #1, this is a letter thanking someone for a scholarship, which was requested three weeks ago. I have this hunch that the request was filled in a different way long ago, and she won't really be interested in our queries at this stage. In any case, if you feel it's more correct, you can use obtain instead of complete. I really don't think it matters.

I'd say the word for word translation for that part would be 'contribute knowledge and better functioning/organizing abilities to the community'. And I think there are way too many commas.

אני חושבת שהמשפט "התואר אותו בכוונתי ללמוד הינו במדעי החברה והרוח ובעזרתו לתרום לקהילה ידע ויכולת התנהלות טובה יותר"
לא תורגם בצורה מדוייקת.
נכון יותר לומר
"which will allow me to contribue to the community with better knowledge and qualifications"