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Translation - Polish-Italian - CzekajÄ…c na spotkanie

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กลุ่ม Poetry - Love / Friendship

Title
CzekajÄ…c na spotkanie
Text
Submitted by Aneta B.
Source language: Polish

CzekajÄ…c na spotkanie

I lubię nawet czekać
na Twoje wstawanie o szóstej nad ranem
na to jak odczytasz
moją poranną krótką wiadomość tekstową
- niespodzianka z kroplą bólu -
w języku włoskim
w języku miłości
Buon giorno, angelo mio

I lubię czekać na spotkanie
to umówione na dziesiątą
na święte nasze gadanie
o wszystkim i o niczym
bo słowa kolcem stoją
a miłość - jak franca - gorzka

I choć rozum z sercem się biją
wiem że nie możemy się więcej poranić
bólu aż nadto w jednym tylko rozstaniu
Remarks about the translation
British English, please.

Oczywiście nie tłumaczymy włoskiej "wstawki"...;)
franca - dawniej smiertelna choroba weneryczna
myślę, że można to przetłumaczyć niedosłownie, bo dziś funcjonuje to słowo w idiomatycznym, przenośnym znaczeniu: np. "damn" lub podobnie...

Title
Aspettando un appuntamento
Translation
Italian

Translated by brusurf
Target language: Italian

Aspettando un appuntamento

E piuttosto mi piace aspettare
il tuo risveglio alle 6 del mattino
quando leggi il mio breve messaggio mattutino
- una sorpresa con una goccia di dolore –
in italiano
lingua dell’amore
Buon giorno, angelo mio

E mi piace aspettare un appuntamento
schedulato per le dieci
per il nostro sacrosanto colloquio
su tutto e niente
poichè le parole sono come spine
e l’amore - maledetto! - è tanto amaro.

E nonostante la mente ed il cuore
lottino tra loro
so che non possiamo essere feriti
c'è abbastanza dolore in un solo addio.
Validated by Francky5591 - 3 October 2012 12:42





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13 September 2012 23:49

Lev van Pelt
จำนวนข้อความ: 313
"e l'amore è troppo amaro, come il fiele" (??)

"e l'amore --maledetto/dannato sia-- è tanto amaro! (??)

Just guessing...

14 September 2012 00:48

alexfatt
จำนวนข้อความ: 1538
I like Lev's latter suggestion!

"e l'amore - maledetto! - è tanto amaro"

Aneta, about the last line, I'd translate it as "c'è abbastanza dolore in un solo addio".

I'd also like to get brusurf's feedback! What do you think about our decisions, @brusurf?

14 September 2012 01:49

Francky5591
จำนวนข้อความ: 12396
In which case (sorry Aneta, I wasn't anymore connected, I just read your post on the late), according to Lev's suggestion, I would translate into French by "Et l'amour - maudit soit-il - est si amer"


14 September 2012 08:21

Aneta B.
จำนวนข้อความ: 4487
"c'è abbastanza dolore in un solo addio".

---

Dear Francky, I know poems are difficult to transalate, because we should feel/understand an author's feelings and read between lines first... Here I'm the author, so it's easier, because I can explain what I meant. But I'm not sure if I can do it precisely.
Ok, I'll try once again...

in this particular case = with this man, in this situation when even "words are like thorns".

But it is still about love considered in general, "love" is sitil a general term here. That's just how the "person speaking" (author) felt love in that time...She just considered it bitter, even if it could be different in other situations.

Et l'amour - maudit soit-il - est si amer" looks good to me, though my French is not enough to say this for sure. But I trust our experts!

Thank you for your work, Francky, Alex and Lev.

14 September 2012 11:06

Aneta B.
จำนวนข้อความ: 4487
One more thing, Alex.
I can see that brusurf forgot to translate the title which was included in the text.

CzekajÄ…c na spotkanie:
"Aspettando un appuntamento"?

("czekajÄ…c" grammatically is ppa = participium praesentis activvi )

14 September 2012 15:25

alexfatt
จำนวนข้อความ: 1538
Yes, "Aspettando un appuntamento" is the best choice!

14 September 2012 16:59

Aneta B.
จำนวนข้อความ: 4487
Grazie Alex! Yes, that is what I thought.

25 September 2012 11:26

brusurf
จำนวนข้อความ: 32
sorry about my delay :-(
I agree the change considering that I really did not know how to translate that part.
Thanks
I'm going to modify it.

25 September 2012 12:36

Francky5591
จำนวนข้อความ: 12396
Thanks brusuf!

Alex, I think you can validate this translation.


2 October 2012 20:32

Aneta B.
จำนวนข้อความ: 4487
Hi brusurf,
You have not translated the title/first verse yet (CzekajÄ…c na spotkanie/Waiting for a rendezvous)...

I was suggesting: "Aspettando un appuntamento" and Alex agreed. How about you?

2 October 2012 22:13

alexfatt
จำนวนข้อความ: 1538
Sorry, it's my fault! I'll correct all and accept the translation

2 October 2012 22:35

Aneta B.
จำนวนข้อความ: 4487
Alex, but you haven't added the first verse (title) to the translation. The first verse wasn't translated at all - that's why I once gave you the hint.

3 October 2012 10:33

brusurf
จำนวนข้อความ: 32
@ Aneta B.
I can visualise the title I've already translated. Can you? :-)
BR

3 October 2012 10:56

Francky5591
จำนวนข้อความ: 12396
Yes we can, thanks brusuf!

3 October 2012 12:40

Aneta B.
จำนวนข้อความ: 4487
I'm sorry I don't understand you, brusurf.

I mean your translation is lacking one line - the first line. Compare it with Polish, English and French version.
You should have started not from: "E piuttosto mi piace aspettare", but from "Aspettando un appuntamento". See what I mean?

3 October 2012 12:44

Francky5591
จำนวนข้อความ: 12396
I added the missing first line, is it ok this way, Aneta?


3 October 2012 13:08

Aneta B.
จำนวนข้อความ: 4487
Thank you, Francky!

4 October 2012 12:41

brusurf
จำนวนข้อความ: 32
I'm so sorry I was missing the point!
I've got it now!
Thank you all!
Bye

4 October 2012 12:44

Francky5591
จำนวนข้อความ: 12396
You're welcome brusuf!
Thanks to you for your translation work!

4 October 2012 19:53

Aneta B.
จำนวนข้อความ: 4487
No problem, brusurf!
Mistakes happen, we all make them from time to time, but thanks to the cooperative work of Cucumers we finally are able to get the best translation which satisfises us. I'm sorry for my "clinging to details".
I'm also very grateful for your work on my text. Thank you.
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