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Dịch - Polish-English - Mewa

Current statusDịch
This text is available in the following languages: PolishEnglishTurkish

Nhóm chuyên mục Poetry - Love / Friendship

Title
Mewa
Text
Submitted by ji2
Source language: Polish

Tęsknota nade mną szeleszcze.
Trąca mnie skrzydłem mewiem.
Czy wciąż ta sama jeszcze?
Nie wiem! nie wiem...
(Maria Pawlikowska-Jasnorzewska)

Title
The seagull
Dịch
English

Translated by Olesniczanin
Target language: English

Yearning swishes upon my head.
Touches me with a seagull's wing.
Is it still the same one?
I don't know! I don't know...
(Maria Pawlikowska-Jasnorzewska)
Remarks about the translation
The original one consists rhymes in ABAB pattern.
Validated by Tantine - 28 Tháng 1 2008 21:23





Bài gửi sau cùng

Tác giả
Bài gửi

25 Tháng 1 2008 16:39

Tantine
Tổng số bài gửi: 2747
Hi Olesniczanin

Maybe "seagull" should be in one word?

I'm not sure about the choice of the word "swishes", which is a word I associate more with cloth, curtains, large twirling dresses or skirts, or with paint but not really with seagulls or yearning.

I've opened a poll because I don't speak any Polish at all

Bises
Tantine


26 Tháng 1 2008 17:20

Olesniczanin
Tổng số bài gửi: 73
Hi Tantine,

thanks for your remarks.

According to wiki: "In common usage, members of various gull species are often referred to as sea gulls or seagulls." Anyway, "seagull" really might be smoother as I think it's more common than "sea gull".

As far as "swishes" is concerned, what would you suggest instead? "Rustles"? I picked "swishes" because it's connected with silk and makes a nice alliteration. What do you think?

Oleśniczanin.

26 Tháng 1 2008 22:39

Tantine
Tổng số bài gửi: 2747
Hi

I like the word "swishes".

It makes me think of "swoop", "rustle",

We can keep it

bises
Tantine

27 Tháng 1 2008 11:13

Olesniczanin
Tổng số bài gửi: 73
Hi Tantine,

"Seagull" is corrected, we keep "swishes" . Once again, thanks for your remarks.

Oleśniczanin.

28 Tháng 1 2008 00:04

Tantine
Tổng số bài gửi: 2747
Hi Olesniczanin

I'll validate your text now

Enjoy your points

Bises
Tantine