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10Translation - Arabies-Turks - ياوطن ياغالي

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Title
ياوطن ياغالي
Text
Submitted by Amanada78
Source language: Arabies

ياناس اخذوني لبلادي
مااكد على الفراك
بكلبي جرح ينادي
وينك ياوطن مشتاك

Title
Değerli ülkem
Translation
Turks

Translated by Amanada78
Target language: Turks

İnsanlar, beni vatanıma götürün
Ayrılığa dayanamıyorum
Yüreğimde bir yara var, bağırıyor
Neredesin özlediğim vatanım!
Laaste geakkrediteerde redigering deur kafetzou - 19 June 2007 15:33





Last messages

Author
Message

15 June 2007 20:48

kafetzou
Number of messages: 7963
I think the meaning is basically correct here, but:

1) The Turkish here is too informal, I think.
2) Several things are spelled wrong.
3) In the beginning, it says "O people!"
4) The final line is two sentences.

Take a look at the English version, serba - that way you can edit it.

16 June 2007 07:58

Yolcu
Number of messages: 152
It needs to be clear. Ex: "deÄŸerli", not "deyerli"

16 June 2007 09:19

Chantal
Number of messages: 878
I agree, if you look at the English version, then some words/sentences are missing

16 June 2007 19:30

kafetzou
Number of messages: 7963
No - there are no words missing - just punctuation. Serba, you should re-set the voting now that it's been edited.

16 June 2007 19:35

kafetzou
Number of messages: 7963
By the way, I still think the Turkish is too informal, even now that it's been edited. This is written like an old-fashioned ode to the homeland.

17 June 2007 09:20

Yolcu
Number of messages: 152
not old-fashioned, not informal. Just punctuation and capital letters are wrong.

İnsanlar, beni ülkeme götürün
Ayrılığa dayanamıyorum
Yüreğimde bir yara var, bağırıyor
Nerdesin özlediğim ülkem!


17 June 2007 09:21

Yolcu
Number of messages: 152
Perhaps, "Neredesin" with one more "e" is better for the last line.

17 June 2007 15:47

kafetzou
Number of messages: 7963
That reads much better.

What about "vatanım" instead of "ülkem"?

17 June 2007 19:13

Yolcu
Number of messages: 152
vatanım is more impressive, better for here.

18 June 2007 02:16

kafetzou
Number of messages: 7963
Should we change it, or leave it alone?

19 June 2007 08:03

Yolcu
Number of messages: 152
Yes, change it.

19 June 2007 15:34

kafetzou
Number of messages: 7963
OK; I did.