Arratisur, syrgjynosur, Raskapitur dhe katosur Po vajtonj pa funt, pa shpresë, Anës Elbës, anës Spree-së.
Ku e lam' e ku na mbeti Vaj-vatani e mjer-mileti Anës detit i palarë, Anës dritës i paparë, Pranë sofrës i pangrënë, Pranë dijes i panxënë, Lakuriq dhe i dregosur, Trup e shpirt i sakatosur?
Since this seems to be a poem, I'd try to make it look like one in English too.
Perhaps we could change some structures and words to achieve that.
- What about instead of "without end" using "endlessly"
or instead of "without hope" using "hopeless".? I think this line would be quite shorter and similar to the original.
"They mourn endlessly and hopeless"
- beside the Elbes, beside the Spreese (I'd use "by" instead : By the Elbes, by the Spreese)
- "Where we left it"
What does "it" stand for? Wouldn't it be "him"? Isn't it talking about a person? I didn't understand that part.
- Does the original repeat "poor" in the 7th line?
- "unwashed ocean" ?
- Perhaps we can change "mutilated" into "murdered" so that it makes a better rhyme with "tortured".
What do you think?
Poetry is always difficult, but you did a great job. These are just a few suggestions in order to get a nice rhyme. It's up to you, now.
I'm sorry but I'am having some difficulties with my internet connection lately.I really think that your suggestions are great.Would you like to do the editing?