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48Translation - Romanian-English - poezie de iubire

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กลุ่ม Literature - Arts / Creation / Imagination

Title
poezie de iubire
Text
Submitted by MÃ¥ddie
Source language: Romanian

ÃŽÅ¢I SPUN...

ÃŽÅ£i spun...
Dacă
M-ai săruta pe obraz,
M-aş spăla,
Cu băgare de seamă
De teamă
Să nu tulbur
Limpezimea sărutului tău...

ÃŽÅ£i spun...
Dacă
M-ai mîngîia pe creştet,
M-aş pieptăna
Cu băgare de seamă
De teamă
Să nu-ntin
Mireasma atingerii tale...

ÃŽÅ£i spun...
Dacă
Mi-ai şopti că mă iubeşti,
AÅŸ respira
Cu băgare de seamă
De teamă
Să nu risipesc
Vraja ÅŸoaptelor tale...
Remarks about the translation
doresc sa traduceti acest poem in asa fel incit mesajul sa ramina nealterat chiar daca forma sufera unele mici modificari.multumesc

Title
Love poem
Translation
English

Translated by MÃ¥ddie
Target language: English

I’m telling you...
If
You kissed me on my cheek
I would wash carefully
For fear
Of disturbing
The clarity of your kiss…

I’m telling you...
If
You caressed the top of my head,
I would comb
Carefully
For fear
Of staining
The scent of your touch

I’m telling you...
If
You whispered you loved me
I would breath
Carefully
For fear
Of scattering
The spell
Of your whispers...
Remarks about the translation
Hope this will help. I have seen this text is waiting for a translation for some time and maybe it will be easier with a bridge in English.
Validated by lilian canale - 17 May 2008 15:53





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16 May 2008 22:52

lilian canale
จำนวนข้อความ: 14972
Hi Madeleine,

This must be a really nice text, I say "must be" trusting your excellent version in English.
I just suggest a small change in structure:
when you say "for fear not to disturb" I would rather say: "for fear of diturbing" and the same, every time this words appear.

What do you think?

17 May 2008 10:50

MÃ¥ddie
จำนวนข้อความ: 1285
Hi Lilian,

I'll change it. And in my opinion, yes, it is a very nice poem

Madeleine