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569Translation - English-Danish - Each small candle

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Requested translations: Literary Chinese

กลุ่ม Song

This translation request is "Meaning only".
Title
Each small candle
Text
Submitted by Rumo
Source language: English

Not the torturer will scare me
Nor the body's final fall
Nor the barrels of death's rifles
Nor the shadows on the wall
Nor the night when to the ground
The last dim star of pain is hurled
But the blind indifference
Of a merciless unfeeling world

And each small candle
Lights a corner of the dark...
Remarks about the translation
From a song by Roger Waters
Source: http://www.roger-waters.com/candle.html

Please keep sense and meaning, translations have not necessarily got to be as poetical (but if you have nice lyrical ideas, don't hesitate to use them).^^





Title
Hvert lille lys
Translation
Danish

Translated by PennyLane
Target language: Danish

Det er ikke torturen der vil skræmme mig
Heller ikke kroppens sidste fald
Heller ikke løbet af dødens gevær
Heller ikke skyggerne på muren
Heller ikke natten, når til jorden
Den sidste svage stjerne af smerte er kastet
Men den blinde ligegyldighed
Af en ubarmhjertig ufølende verden

Og hvert lille lys
Oplyser et hjørne af mørket...
Validated by wkn - 23 April 2007 13:37





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5 November 2013 01:10

sismo
จำนวนข้อความ: 74
In Danish "the torturer" cannot be translated with "torturen", since this is "the torture" (the act) and not the person performing it, which is "tortøren". Likewise "barrels" and "rifles" should be translated in plural to "løbene" and "geværer" and not only in singular as here. The word "Heller" can be left out entirely as can also the two first words "Det er" and the fifth word "der". In Danish poetry it is not normal to use capital letters in the beginning of each line. "Dim" may be better translated with the Danish word "tågede" (hazy, misty, foggy) rather than with "svage" (weak). I think "is hurled" should be translated "smides" (is thrown), "kastes" (is thrown), "kastes af sted" (is thrown off) or "hvirvles væk" (is hurled away).