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Dịch - Albanian-English - Anes lumenjve

Current status ‎Dịch

This text is available in the following languages:

Albanian

English

Nhóm chuyên mục Poetry

This translation request is "Meaning only".

Title	Anes lumenjve
Text Submitted by kfeto	Source language: Albanian Anes lumenjve Arratisur, syrgjynosur, Raskapitur dhe katosur Po vajtonj pa funt, pa shpresÃ«, AnÃ«s ElbÃ«s, anÃ«s Spree-sÃ«. Ku e lam' e ku na mbeti Vaj-vatani e mjer-mileti AnÃ«s detit i palarÃ«, AnÃ«s dritÃ«s i paparÃ«, PranÃ« sofrÃ«s i pangrÃ«nÃ«, PranÃ« dijes i panxÃ«nÃ«, Lakuriq dhe i dregosur, Trup e shpirt i sakatosur?

Title	by the rivers
Dịch English Translated by eleonora13	Target language: English By the rivers Fugitive, out in exile, Exhausted, and threatened, They mourn endlessly and hopeless By the Elbes, by the Spreese Where we left it, and where it stayed Oh the homeland, and the poor nation Beside the dirty ocean Beside the light, unseen Near the dinner table, uneaten Close by the clue, that doesn't fit, Naked and tortured, Body and soul murdered?
Remarks about the translation	Elbes and Spreese are names of rivers in Albania so i left it as it is.

Validated by lilian canale

- 31 Tháng 5 2008 13:09

Bài gửi sau cùng

	Tác giả	Bài gửi
		18 Tháng 5 2008 02:32
	lilian canale Tổng số bài gửi: 14972	Hi eleonora, Since this seems to be a poem, I'd try to make it look like one in English too. Perhaps we could change some structures and words to achieve that. - What about instead of "without end" using "endlessly" or instead of "without hope" using "hopeless".? I think this line would be quite shorter and similar to the original. "They mourn endlessly and hopeless" - beside the Elbes, beside the Spreese (I'd use "by" instead : By the Elbes, by the Spreese) - "Where we left it" What does "it" stand for? Wouldn't it be "him"? Isn't it talking about a person? I didn't understand that part. - Does the original repeat "poor" in the 7th line? - "unwashed ocean" ? - Perhaps we can change "mutilated" into "murdered" so that it makes a better rhyme with "tortured". What do you think? Poetry is always difficult, but you did a great job. These are just a few suggestions in order to get a nice rhyme. It's up to you, now.
		21 Tháng 5 2008 02:18
	lilian canale Tổng số bài gửi: 14972	Hi eleonora13, Two days later, I'm still waiting...
		25 Tháng 5 2008 22:53
	eleonora13 Tổng số bài gửi: 19	I'm sorry but I'am having some difficulties with my internet connection lately.I really think that your suggestions are great.Would you like to do the editing?
		25 Tháng 5 2008 23:32
	lilian canale Tổng số bài gửi: 14972	Hi eleonora, no problem. You can edit it if you agree.
		31 Tháng 5 2008 20:42
	kfeto Tổng số bài gửi: 953	ok thank you both girls