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Traduko - Esperanto-Angla - mi sentis sekuron, la sono de la viro sur la rook...

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Tiu teksto haveblas en la sekvaj lingvoj: EsperantoAngla

Kategorio Fikcio / Rakonto

Titolo
mi sentis sekuron, la sono de la viro sur la rook...
Teksto
Submetigx per alireza
Font-lingvo: Esperanto

mi sentis sekuron, la sono de la viro sur la rook Altiris nian atenton, li skuis sian manon, li saltis, kaj post sekundo surŝprucigis nin malvarma akvo, la rida sono estis ripetata multfoje en mia orelo, tiu virino ridete diris: Iru al la avo, ni devas savi lin;
Rimarkoj pri la traduko
American English

Titolo
I felt safe, the sound of the man on the rock...
Traduko
Angla

Tradukita per ArenaL5
Cel-lingvo: Angla

I felt safe, the sound of the man on the rock caught our attention, he shook his hand, he jumped, and a second later, we were sprinkled with cold water, the laughing sound repeated many times in my ear, that woman said smiling: Go to Grandfather, we must save him;
Rimarkoj pri la traduko
"Shake" as in "tremble", not as in "greeting"
"second" as in "time unit", not as in "number two"

Such kind of yuxtaposition is also unnatural in Esperanto. The most likely explanation this message was translated from other non-European language.

Therefore, commas were respected, except in "a second later, cold water", where I added one for clarity.

"Avo" could either mean "grandfather" or "grandmother", but it's usually used for the former.
Laste validigita aŭ redaktita de Lein - 27 Julio 2012 12:57





Lasta Afiŝo

Aŭtoro
Afiŝo

12 Julio 2012 17:20

Lein
Nombro da afiŝoj: 3389
Hi zciric

I don't think we have many people who speak Esperanto; could you help me evaluate this text please? Thanks!

CC: zciric

27 Julio 2012 12:49

zciric
Nombro da afiŝoj: 91
What I should to check?

If the English translation was the "aim",
it is good, only in two places there is need for changes, I think.

The parts between '=':

"...and a second later, =we were submerged in cold water=, the laughing sound repeated many times in my ear,..."
surŝprucigis nin malvarma akvo -
better is: sprinkled us cold water

And the second thing is:
"...that woman said smiling: =Go with Grandfather=, we must save him;..."

In the Esperanto text the meaning is more for:
"Go TO Grandfather...", not 'WITH'.

If you need any further help... write.

Greetings
Zoran

27 Julio 2012 12:57

Lein
Nombro da afiŝoj: 3389
Thanks Zoran, that's very helpful