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Dịch - Esperanto-English - mi sentis sekuron, la sono de la viro sur la rook...

Current statusDịch
This text is available in the following languages: EsperantoEnglish

Nhóm chuyên mục Fiction / Story

Title
mi sentis sekuron, la sono de la viro sur la rook...
Text
Submitted by alireza
Source language: Esperanto

mi sentis sekuron, la sono de la viro sur la rook Altiris nian atenton, li skuis sian manon, li saltis, kaj post sekundo surŝprucigis nin malvarma akvo, la rida sono estis ripetata multfoje en mia orelo, tiu virino ridete diris: Iru al la avo, ni devas savi lin;
Remarks about the translation
American English

Title
I felt safe, the sound of the man on the rock...
Dịch
English

Translated by ArenaL5
Target language: English

I felt safe, the sound of the man on the rock caught our attention, he shook his hand, he jumped, and a second later, we were sprinkled with cold water, the laughing sound repeated many times in my ear, that woman said smiling: Go to Grandfather, we must save him;
Remarks about the translation
"Shake" as in "tremble", not as in "greeting"
"second" as in "time unit", not as in "number two"

Such kind of yuxtaposition is also unnatural in Esperanto. The most likely explanation this message was translated from other non-European language.

Therefore, commas were respected, except in "a second later, cold water", where I added one for clarity.

"Avo" could either mean "grandfather" or "grandmother", but it's usually used for the former.
Validated by Lein - 27 Tháng 7 2012 12:57





Bài gửi sau cùng

Tác giả
Bài gửi

12 Tháng 7 2012 17:20

Lein
Tổng số bài gửi: 3389
Hi zciric

I don't think we have many people who speak Esperanto; could you help me evaluate this text please? Thanks!

CC: zciric

27 Tháng 7 2012 12:49

zciric
Tổng số bài gửi: 91
What I should to check?

If the English translation was the "aim",
it is good, only in two places there is need for changes, I think.

The parts between '=':

"...and a second later, =we were submerged in cold water=, the laughing sound repeated many times in my ear,..."
surŝprucigis nin malvarma akvo -
better is: sprinkled us cold water

And the second thing is:
"...that woman said smiling: =Go with Grandfather=, we must save him;..."

In the Esperanto text the meaning is more for:
"Go TO Grandfather...", not 'WITH'.

If you need any further help... write.

Greetings
Zoran

27 Tháng 7 2012 12:57

Lein
Tổng số bài gửi: 3389
Thanks Zoran, that's very helpful