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翻译 - 土耳其语-英语 - çocukken korkardım karanlıktan sokaklarda ...

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本文可用以下语言: 土耳其语英语

讨论区 诗歌 - 社会 / 人民 / 政治

标题
çocukken korkardım karanlıktan sokaklarda ...
正文
提交 ncbhkk
源语言: 土耳其语

çocukken korkardım karanlıktan sokaklarda
gençken korktum hep insanlardan karanlıkta
şimdi korkuyorum yalnızlıktan
her karanlık bastığında

标题
darkness
翻译
英语

翻译 kfeto
目的语言: 英语

As a child I was afraid on the streets after dark.
When I was young I feared people after dark.
Now I'm afraid of loneliness,
everytime night falls.


给这篇翻译加备注
karanlik can mean darkness in general but here it refers to nighfall especially in the last line
i tried to keep the structure of the poem intact as much possible
dramati认可或编辑 - 2008年 四月 5日 19:11





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2008年 四月 3日 21:05

lilian canale
文章总计: 14972
Hi kfeto
"As a child I was afraid after dark on the streets."

Do you mean "I was afraid of the streets after dark" or "I was afraid of being/staying on the street after dark"?

2008年 四月 3日 21:29

kfeto
文章总计: 953
hello lilian
literally it says 'i was afraid of the dark[ness] on the streets' so not your first suggestion but more the second.

first line he fears the dark[ness] itself

2008年 四月 3日 21:54

lilian canale
文章总计: 14972
So..."I was afraid of the darkness on the streets" would be correct.
Why don't you edit that way? It sounds fine.

2008年 四月 3日 22:02

kfeto
文章总计: 953
because like i wrote in the remarks here it refers more specifically to the darkness which comes after nightfall.
the poem's three lines are connected in the sense that they build up to the climax in the third.

the connection is always the nightfall, thats why i deviated from darkness in the the first line, luckily in english using 'after dark' allows one to retain the word dark, and thus the structure while making clear it's after nightfall

2008年 四月 3日 22:30

lilian canale
文章总计: 14972
The problem here kfeto is that the structure is wrong. We are afraid of something (the street, de darkness). I understand that this is a poem and we should try to keep its form, but the sentence in English needs another construction.
You have to respect a sequence of adverbs and "after dark" should come at the end.
you can say:

"As a child I was afraid of the darkness on/of the streets"
or
"As a child I was frightened of the dark streets"
or
"As a child I was afraid of the streets after dark"
Or the other suggestions I gave, but the way the sentence is now, sorry, but it's not correct.

So, what are you going to do?

2008年 四月 3日 22:35

kfeto
文章总计: 953
I'm really making you earn those points arent I, lilian?
what about:
"As a child I was afraid on the streets after dark"
is that ok?

2008年 四月 4日 12:46

dramati
文章总计: 972
Looks much better to me Kfeto. Do it please

2008年 四月 4日 12:55

kfeto
文章总计: 953
done

2008年 四月 4日 16:11

cesur_civciv
文章总计: 268
"Korkardım", "I used to be afraid" olması lazım. Ve bence kalanlık kelimesinin üçü de "dark" ya da "darkness" olarak çevirilse daha güzel olacak.