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 Vertimas - Graikų-Anglų - Έπεφτε βαθεια σιωπή στο παλιό μας δάσος, ...
Esamas statusas Vertimas
Kategorija Daina | Έπεφτε βαθεια σιωπή στο παλιό μας δάσος, ... | | Originalo kalba: Graikų
Έπεφτε βαθεια σιωπή στο παλιό μας δάσος,
"Ï„ÏÎξε να σε πιάσω" μου χες Ï€Ïωτοπεί
Και όταν ετÏιζε η βÏοχή στα πεσμÎνα φÏλλα,
πόση ανατÏιχίλα μÎσα στην ψυχή.
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 Atmestas vertimas | Rain was falling in our old wood | VertimasAnglų
Išvertė  irini | Kalba, į kurią verčiama: Anglų
Rain was falling in our old wood,
"run so that I can catch you" you had told me for the first time
and when the rain was rustling on the fallen leaves
how much shuddering inside the soul. | | Note: this is supposed to work ONLY as an in-between translation.
The text itself is a bit surealistic (it's part of the lyrics of a song)
a) "Ï„ÏÎξε να σε πιάσω" "run so that I can catch you". The verbatim translation is "run to catch you". It's what one person would say to another when playing e.g. tag
b)ετÏιζε η βÏοχή στα πεσμÎνα φÏλλα "the rain was rustling on the fallen leaves" Well I am not quite sure if "rustling" is the right verb. The Greek verb "Ï„Ïίζω" (which is what the rain was doing) means
crack, crackle, gnash, grind, groan, creak, squeak, scrape, scratch, crunch, rustle, trate.
Now I don't think the rain is making any of the above noises when falling on fallen leaves. It makes a sort of "tap tap" sound :(
c)πόση ανατÏιχίλα μÎσα στην ψυχή "how much shuddering inside the soul." Another tricky one. The overall meaning is that the noise of the rain on the leaves causes ???? to the soul, causes the soul to ????, causes one to feel a ??? inside his/her soul to be exact.
The ???? is shiver(ing), crawl(ing), shudder(ing), quiver(ing), you choose!
I mean it! It's either shivering or shuddering if you ask me. The word and context gives me the feeling that it talks about goose bumps of the soul.
Hope these notes help a bit |
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Atmetė Chantal - 23 sausis 2007 12:52
Paskutinės žinutės | | | | |
23 sausis 2007 15:02 | | | Wow - this is a tough one - one of my favourite songs, too.
My comments:
"Έπεφτε βαθεια σιωπή" should be "A deep stillness was falling" instead of "Rain was falling".
"run and I'll catch you" would be better than the longer version, but what we really say in games like tag is "Ready or not, here I come!"
Also, I would say "you had said to me" - it's simpler than "you had told me for the first time".
As for the "rustling" rain, I agree that it's not quite right. Maybe "the rain was beating a rhythm on the leaves". This is a free translation, though.
Everything else looks fine, though. The song always gave me the image of two kids playing tag in the forest - in the rain - and the boy catches the girl and they fall onto the wet leaves ... and ... and ... | | |
23 sausis 2007 15:05 | | | Whoops! I was thinking of the rain and didn't re-read the thing. Thanks for looking it over kafetzou (you could edit it you know, no worries) but it seems Chantal was way too hasty in rejecting it.
Kids eh? How old exactly? | | |
23 sausis 2007 15:08 | | | Well, because of the "tag" game, I thought of kids, maybe early teens? Am I way off with the image? | | |
23 sausis 2007 15:36 | | | Nahh! But I always thought we're talking about teenagers since the whole song has a rather erotic feel (and then he goes to the army/war and then I get depressed) (well that's my feeling at least  ). | | |
23 sausis 2007 15:47 | | | Btw, why don't you make a translation of it yourself? You know a better in-between translation to help those who may want to translate it in Portuguese or Spanish?
I should have said before that I know that this is not a good translation but I thought it was obvious from my stating that it was to be used only as an in-between (in which cases I prefer a bad translation with explanatory notes than a better translation that may lead further away when used as source text).
Hmmm perhaps I should ask about this in the forum section | | |
23 sausis 2007 16:29 | | | I did. I couldn't edit your translation because it had already been rejected, so I went ahead and translated it myself.
Anyway, I couldn't resist - a good song lyric deserves a good translation, Îτσι δεν είναι; | | |
26 sausis 2007 11:53 | | | I found the entire song and a translation into english here:
http://br.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20060705230810AAOd6bb | | |
26 sausis 2007 14:48 | | | Kafetzou you are right and a really good translation you did!
Borges nice link, thanks ! | | |
26 sausis 2007 14:51 | | | Thanks irini and Borges - interesting! |
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