Oversættelse - Hebraisk-Engelsk - מותק אני עומד מתחת חלונך

Hi libera,

Poetry is always tough.

I would suggest to shorten this line:
"look what's happening to me because of you " to:
"look what you cause me"
and I'd use "finally" instead of "at long last".

What do you think?

I wasn't trying for poetry. if my memory serves me correctly, this was for 'meaning only' - and I've asked the requester whether she would like it to be poetic. if she does, I'll have a load of fun making it rhyme and have a meter. as it is, I don't really mind one way or another. at this stage, I just kept it as close to the original as possible, as is my policy to do unless requested otherwise.

Well, firstly this request is not "meaning only".
Secondly, I was not demanding any poetic measure or rhyme from you. If the requestor wanted any of those s/he would have requested "high quality".
What I tried to do by suggesting those changes was making the piece more natural in English.
I don't think my suggestions changed the original meaning in any way. Am I wrong?

Besides, I didn't say the structure you proposed was wrong.

your suggestions most certainly didn't change the original meaning. although "look what you cause me" is debatable in my view, the translation I gave for that line is definitely not what I'd call good English. as I mentioned in my previous message, I don't mind one way or the other. I had actually been divided between "finally" and "at long last", and at the end ruled in favor of the latter because it did kind of sound more 'poetic' to me.

OK, let's set a poll and check its accuracy.